Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
harmony88 0
Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....
juliadream 0
...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?
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Comments (145)
hayleyukulele 0
white trash annoyed with other white trash. hmmmm....
iTSzAMBORBABYY 0
Wow. Its crazy how everyone's downing this person for taking a PT in a target bathroom... Maybe it's a younger person and they're scared or maybe this person is on their way to their b/fs house and wants to know before they get there. Who cares? Either way you people are f*cking rude.
Lisasimpsonfan 0
OMG someone took a dump in the bathroom. Call the frigging police! Get over it Princess. If you are knocked up your baby won't be ******** roses in those diapers you will have change for the next couple of years.
Seventytimeseven 0
She is a raging **** because anyone else would have been embarrassed enough, if they couldn't take the test at home, to use a bathroom like in a gas station that has a door, sink, toilet set up and not stalls. Pregnancy tests in a stalled bathroom unless someone is guarding the door seems to be a fairly decent indication of lack of decency which indicates **** to me too
HelloItsSam 0
get off your high horse you're saying if you had to pick between target and a random gas station, you'd pick the gas station? Well, aren't you the definition of class.
rewe1 0
I took my pregnancy test (after being diagnosed as infertile) in a Target restroom. The whole time I heard two teenage girls speaking the way they speak (if you know what I mean) about the stupidest s*it and after crying my eyes out, hoped it would not be a girl. It was, but I feel blessed to this day. Just thought it was awesome that I was not the only one in the Target bathroom peeing on my stick.
youdeservedit1 0
no there are other unclassy people just like you, be happy!
ajthemistress 6
I work at a starbucks that is located inside a target. I know now why when I go into the bathrooms at target that there is pee everywhere! Because people do everything and anything in there. I feel bad that you did it in there but be happy you did not have to do it outside. Or that you had a test at all to take. Oh and I swear 8 our of 10 times I use the bathroom at work there is someone taking a nasty shit in there. It is like they hold their shit til they go to target.
IMB916 0
Bathrooms are for crapping in, genius. People can't always control their bowel movements, i suggest YOU be less crude and take a pregnancy test in ur own home. unless this is a daily thing for you..?
Gasperilla 0
haha, I got to hear a lady deal with her diarrhea in a target bathroom. totally unexpected.
ursonotknowin 6
ummmm #21, what you need to do is go back to 1st grade and learn some basic spelling. FYI it's definitely, not deffinatly.