Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
harmony88 0
Surely you could have waited until you were at home to take the test....
juliadream 0
...why the Target bathroom? As opposed to the privacy of your own bathroom...?
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Comments (145)
ursonotknowin 6
ummmm #21, what you need to do is go back to 1st grade and learn some basic spelling instead of spending your whole life on this website. FYI it's definitely, not deffinatly, stupid
fattu4554 2
Fragrant as in a very strong odor. I think the taking a pregnacy test in a Target store is part of the FML.
kiararamos 0
this is not a big deal. people take craps in bathrooms. THATS WHAT THEIR THERE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mrskristindavis 0
what else do you expect out of a public bathroom...?
geez23 0
ur lying cause girls don't do that
bubbledot 0
soo are u pregnant or not!!!
jakeselph 0
why were you at target? Walt mart is where you go to do that kind of shot.
summerdayze 0
Ydi go home & take your test. target is clearly not the correct venue for that. whiner.
mustasho 0
so did it come out psitive or negative? :D
mizsunshine 3
I found out I was pregnant in a Target bathroom. I really don't see what the big deal is. Some people get really excited or impatient to find put, especially of they've been trying to get pregnant. Frankly, I think it's more impolite to take a stanky shit in a public bathroom than it is to take a pregnancy test. At least when you take a pregnancy test, no one knows what you're doing, and unless you have an ungodly stench to your urine, you're not gagging anyone else who decides to use that bathroom.