Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
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Top comments
geekpowerwtf 0
When is taking a 20 miles bike ride not a bad decision?
ollie179 21
"somebody likes it rough"
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Comments (108)
BarbieGirl1671 0
Bike lube just seems like an appropriate word here..
jaybirdrampage 0
No bike seat?
bobmueler 0
Well look at the bright aide you can't ever make that decision again cuz ur vCard is long gone either from riding ur bf or the bike
birdofparadise 16
Hurts, doesn't it? Going to work and walking the equivalent of 30 miles over a six hour shift with no break, hurts just as bad. Trust me.
jamila123 5
Yeah it was pretty funny!
MollyDollLifee 1
Losing my virginity didn't hurt, and he was huge?
Mifflicious 18
Be careful or someone's gonna say you have a big flabby ******
badactor009 0
Suck it up and keep peddling. Life has a lot more shit to throw at you than a bike ride with a sore snapper. Keep on losing your virginity and you are gonna have to pop your boy friend of the months (8 month/boys back) spawn from your crotch. See how ya like the day after bike ride then. Then there is work and life after mommy pays the bills coming to a reality with your name on it. That's gonna make your lost cherry bike ride seem like a vacation.
Sniper_Fidelis 1
I still have yet to know
1030love 10
the first time we tried, he didn't even get the tip all the way in before he stopped because he said i looked like i was in too much pain. we tried again two months later and finally got it all in but it hurt so bad i cried. i spent 10 months across the country from him, and when i came back it was like loosing my virginity all over again because it hurt almost as much as the first time. i guess i needed a small penis first to bridge the gap between virgin to 8.5" penis
justanotherhuman 21
lol, pretty sure about 5 minutes of educating yourself on your own reproductive anatomy before engaging in intercourse for the first time would have predicted this one for ya. Nice shoutout for your donkey bf tho. Smooooooth operay-tahhhhh.
ben9694 0
Why does having sex make it harder?