Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
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Top comments
geekpowerwtf 0
When is taking a 20 miles bike ride not a bad decision?
ollie179 21
"somebody likes it rough"
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Comments (108)
defient 4
Lol
Daralea 21
:| You poor thing.
espanaitalia96 2
preparing yourself for the pain of childbirth?
heralynn1011 0
childbirth is a hell of a lot worse then 20 mile bike ride :p
iloveyouchung 0
Mutual feeling?
LittleRRed 5
Umm ow?
Xashley_taylorX 3
ouch!
Oniat 2
First time was uncomfortable for me, but not to the point of your pain, OP. Most girls nowadays rip their hymen being active in their teenage years or earlier (my psych professor's daughter broke hers apart at 8 from dancing with a TV program), although they may still grow back. Take some ibuprofen and suck it up, soldier. Welcome to womanhood. And I promise, it gets better :P
shake_my_head 2
Taking a 20-mile bikeride ANYDAY seems like a bad idea...
Moonhowler3 3
That's honestly the funniest one I've heard yet! Congrats, I hope he's a respectable guy, and welcome to the world of sex ;)
flm1980 1
Hyman grinder!!