Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table, and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
Al_HyLo 5
genius. I do that to my sister
zingline89 18
I think I just found my new favorite way to kill spiders
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Comments (114)
ns1985 15
I think you have a smart dog here.
sig4life 18
'The itsy bitsy spider went up the doggie's spout'
kevsandy303 12
"Ahh it's crawling up my urethra!!" -Bino the Elephant
cheertrombonist 9
Yeaaah no
loserman67 36
Obviously you own a male dog and that is how we males deal with things. We piss on them.
ICastillo 25
Well that's one way to wash the spider out.
billyz77 24
I think I know how you feel. My bad ass German Shepard, a dog that I watched put three burglars into the hospital, once ran away terrified of a tiny little bunny rabbit in our own back yard. I was walking him outside and we came around a raspberry bush from one direction and the bunny from the other. When they laid eyes on each other they both took off in opposite directions at full speed. I think I loved him more after that than after he saved our stuff from the burglars. He needed me more this time.
drkrissy1331 12
Sounds like my GSD! Love him, but he is one silly guy.
mansen 15
yup. Sounds like my English Mastiff. Tried to take on a buck resting in someones front yard on one of our walks, but when the meter reader came to our backyard; big brave dog tucked her tail and me. And she outweighed said person by about 50lbs!!!
outoftown 27
Gotta love those big dogs that take on the big jobs, then run like hell from the little things. At least OP's dog tried something with the spider, messy as it's solution was.
ideasrule 13
Compared to a dog, most women are bigger, stronger, and tougher. Yet most women run away screaming in terror when a spider is nearby, whereas this dog found a way to kill the spider.
ideasrule 13
This comment complied fully with the rules. The OP expressed surprise that a big, tough creature like a dog would be afraid of spiders. I pointed out that women are even bigger and tougher than a dog, yet most of them are afraid of spiders, which is objectively true (see Wikipedia's article on arachnophobia). I have read the rules, and believe my comment is perfectly in line with all of them. I didn't post shocking or hateful comments, or question the validity of the FML, or use TXT language, or spam comments, or advertise.
laya_fml 26
Next time I see a spider, I think I'm going to do this. Hmm.. this could be awkward if it's at school.
asb818 14
Or the mall, or a restaurant, or pretty much anywhere in public.
youllnvrkno 8
Greatest. Dog. Ever.
panicsdisaster 17
The bigger the dog, the goofier. Common law.
drkrissy1331 12
I couldnt agree with you more. My german shepherd is sooooo goofy, but sweet.
jennuhm 4
I call bullshit
sierra142 19
I second that.
21jason 9
Personally I don't care who you call.