Work: Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables... - FML

By slickboy0023 - 16/03/2010 15:30 - United States

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 907

You deserved it 5 620

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2011 11:50 - United States

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 052

You deserved it 5 074

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 932

Help!

By send help - 07/03/2017 02:00

Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 405

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 12:49 - India

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 5 395

Is that even legal?

By Monkeys aren't pets - 07/12/2020 23:04 - United States - Millersville

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 93

Dumbo's jumbo dungo

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 181

Food flight

By ashley_skillz06 - 24/01/2010 05:21 - France

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 7 397

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 12:40 - Australia

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 321

You deserved it 15 926

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 3 819

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 5 934

Next

Top comments

aback 4

Tuesday 16 March 2010 19:45

"They took our jobs!"

velvel 7

Tuesday 16 March 2010 19:40

I want to be waited on by a monkey!!

Comments

likewhoaitisbryo 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:49

maybe u should have gone to college retard!!!!!!!!

justJonny 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:12

cracked.com ftw

GoSmegma 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:40

#38 - stop being so goddamn annoying. Is it really that big of a deal? I understand your need to impress people with your literacy and what-not but how 'bout you take it elsewhere instead of FML, mmmkay?

GreenDayRoxs 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 3:05

cool.

vinhton4554 1

Wednesday 17 March 2010 3:36

This is more of a MLIA.

maddiewoah 15

Wednesday 17 March 2010 3:57

OP... YDI for believing who/whatever the hell told you something stupid like this.

ChibiDevil 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:43

Let me guess, Cracked.com?

sagen888 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:44

EEEP!

jyd62 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:14

sounds like B.S. to me

Bizzatch 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:34

well I am perfect so I shall reserve the right to criticize all! lol @ the guy who repeatedly failed and failed again when trying to correct his obviously wrong spelling error huked on fonix didn't werk fore hem

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 252

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 6 702

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 5 985

Today, after religiously eating healthy, getting good sleep, and trying to keep my stress level low, I'm stuck in bed with aches, fever, sore throat, the shits and throwing up. My wedding is in 2 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 234

Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 879

You deserved it 1 428

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 706

You deserved it 2 525

Today, after my boyfriend had been away for months, I invited him over to have sex. He said he hurt his back too badly to do anything. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt enough to stop him from working on his truck for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 190

You deserved it 581