Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML
Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
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