Work: Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables...

By slickboy0023 - 16/03/2010 15:30 - United States

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 907

You deserved it 5 620

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2011 11:50 - United States

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 052

You deserved it 5 074

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 932

Help!

By send help - 07/03/2017 02:00

Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 405

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 12:49 - India

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 5 395

Is that even legal?

By Monkeys aren't pets - 07/12/2020 23:04 - United States - Millersville

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 93

Dumbo's jumbo dungo

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 181

Food flight

By ashley_skillz06 - 24/01/2010 05:21 - France

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 7 397

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 12:40 - Australia

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 321

You deserved it 15 926

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 3 819

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 5 934

aback 4

Tuesday 16 March 2010 19:45

"They took our jobs!"

velvel 7

Tuesday 16 March 2010 19:40

I want to be waited on by a monkey!!

Comments

dannyboy66 7

Friday 19 March 2010 5:11

that is awesome i suddenly wanna go to tokio

saladgirl123 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 23:59

and cna s to,

CountNewfie 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 22:27

I`m going to that restaurant soon! To get there to go Utsunomiya Station, 55 minutes from Tokyo Station. :)

jajee 0

Monday 21 June 2010 3:11

I like monkeys

zachmeach 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 10:07

not anymore Japan got messed up by mother nature

aromero95 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:44

Ahahaha

lolmigosh 15

Saturday 21 January 2012 16:05

Don't hate on monkeys!

doglover100 28

Saturday 13 October 2012 18:46

Monkeys are awesome.

yenidewi 11

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:31

not everyone wants to be served by a monkey. monkey brings rabies virus.

insomniac8400 13

Tuesday 22 January 2013 5:34

So do professional feces throwers, but you don't see them complaining

Keywords

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Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 945

You deserved it 46 026

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

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The Top

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

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You deserved it 5 843

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 809

You deserved it 7 812

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 8 512

Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 2 389

Today, since I last did laundry, most of my clothes seem to have disappeared. This better be a horrible prank, and if it is, it better be the funniest shit ever - because I'm seriously ticked off right now. Not to mention confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 105

Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 873

You deserved it 4 659