Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
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Comments (94)
MakeTodayADTR 20
I don't think you would receive very much unopened mail if it was addressed to Anthrax. xD
OptimusVader 23
I would think that other people would be terrified to open mail with the return address having the name Anthrax on it.
NeatNit 32
whew, dodged that bullet. Cheeseburlar is much nicer.
princessEll 25
Blackmail at its finest.
Callyn 47
That's bribery, not blackmail.
princessEll 25
The dad could have made the grandfather give him $200.
Michael_92 20
That's not what it says though..
princessEll 25
I do apologise for being such a stupid bimbo
laurenasabutton 26
That's cool. Plus, no one else in your class would ever have the same name!
icetea4life 5
So now you're cheeseburglar?
perdix 29
I wonder what kind of normal name you would have gotten for $500. I'll bet you do, too, Analwarts.
RedPillSucks 31
Actually, now OP is called by his nickname.... An (or Ann)
DocBastard 38
With all the stupid names parents are giving their children (Pilot Inspektor? Blue? Apple?), Anthrax doesn't seem so bad.
perdix 29
#16, not for the inventor or the unit of magnetic flux density?
upallnight11 19
That sounds like a name for a dinosaur tbh.
HortonThelephant 15
Ok Fine Op, you win. Bacillus Anthracis you are. Enjoy. At least now you can lie and make up some story about Harry Potter