Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
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Comments (94)
joethebiden 8
You know, that name could have been pretty awesome during the 80s. Then again, it would probably have brought you a lot of unwanted attention around 2001.
Enslaved 36
"Caught in a Mosh" shall still be your theme song!(:
gc327072 30
If this were ancient Pompeii, that would be completely normal.
Demonbart 8
Nah, then it would've been Anthraxius :P
skyeyez9 24
My daughter will thank me one day for giving her a normal name. Some of the kids names in her classes over the years: Montana Stormy Winter Thorin Black twins named "Mahaa and Beebah" Neesar Nassar (palestinian kid). Pronounced 'Neezer Nazzer'
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
#42 > I agree some of the names you quoted are strange but don't judge the foreign names you don't understand. I have an Arabic name too and I am French. My name sounds really odd to most people but they find it really cool too. It has also a very sweet meaning and although it was kinda difficult at school when I got nicknamed with silly words, I love it now. And kids from my school who had very common names got nicknamed too. It's just what kids like to do.
RedPillSucks 31
Yeah. My son has a friend called Neener.... I called him that forever until his parents said his name is Sam.
ShayMarie99 15
My dad wanted to name me Stormy...
jwrosenau 3
Not a fml if your currently named smallpox though... Lol
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Your father probably trolled your grand dad to get 200 $
BobTheBob413 3
YEah it does suck to be you, Anthrax would have been a sweet name!
hplover7 11
If it hasn't been for a coin flip my dad won, my mom would have named me Peekaboo Margaret. Not so bad now hu
RedPillSucks 31
After the famous skier Picabo Street ???
mkcherry 14
It would have been a nightmare for you to fly, put anything in the mail, receive anything in the mail, apply for jobs, internships, colleges. Your parents would have been inconsiderate brain dead trash to give you a name that would ruin your future, the good news however is that you could have had it legally chained as soon as you were old enough to do so.
TheLadyOpal 30
Maybe you should try looking up what anthrax is...