Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred...

By broke_kid - 3/1/2010 13:18 - United States

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29050

You deserved it

14945

Favorite

Money

True hero

Race against the clock

Gas giant

By uhhggggg - 2/1/2010 17:16 - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20394

You deserved it

4272

Favorite

By poop - 18/5/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42527

You deserved it

19459

Favorite

By naughtyshirt - 22/8/2009 09:29 - Australia

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39726

You deserved it

4476

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/6/2020 14:02

Always wear protective gear

Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1484

You deserved it

586

Favorite

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/8/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25627

You deserved it

2871

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/1/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5910

You deserved it

502

Favorite

By Oliveisthenewora - 5/4/2016 05:55 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18168

You deserved it

7225

Favorite

By fckdsamaritan - 16/12/2010 19:35 - Tunisia

Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32247

You deserved it

4299

Favorite

By Mandy - 9/5/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54591

You deserved it

24598

Favorite

By Ugh - 20/9/2011 10:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that the ancient looking coin I dug up in my front yard is worth hundreds of dollars. Too bad I found that coin when I was eight years old, and have since misplaced it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30209

You deserved it

6747

Favorite

By anon - 14/4/2015 00:51 - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34302

You deserved it

3748

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Great Barrington

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4064

You deserved it

515

Favorite

By gorgeousgirl - 12/3/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27359

You deserved it

3035

Favorite

By vintage_vogue - 17/6/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38117

You deserved it

7402

Favorite

By luceeloo - 23/11/2016 22:10

Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his "far superior" Excel skills. I'm now teaching him how to do the job that I didn't get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11127

You deserved it

814

Favorite

By embarrassed4life - 25/6/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51039

You deserved it

15641

Favorite

By pixiegirl - 8/8/2010 19:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38770

You deserved it

6789

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/5/2013 07:32 - United States - Sparks

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40088

You deserved it

3291

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17147

You deserved it

36530

Favorite

By Cindy - 20/3/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

143606

You deserved it

7283

Favorite

By say no to dick - 18/4/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33657

You deserved it

43422

Favorite

By stupidsantaclaus - 8/10/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15835

You deserved it

41755

Favorite

By sadwife - 31/5/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47517

You deserved it

10704

Favorite

By "ironyyyyyyy" -_- - 31/10/2013 16:58 - United States - Marion

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39888

You deserved it

6183

Favorite

By ladyofzanarkand - 25/5/2018 20:30

He doesn't even go here!

Today, I had my high school piano recital. The entire time I was playing, one of my classmates sitting up front kept booing me and yelling "YOU SUCK" at the top of his lungs. He drowned out the entire song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3959

You deserved it

221

Favorite

By Masey - 17/9/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35295

You deserved it

7481

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/5/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41881

You deserved it

8043

Favorite

By Katie - 20/2/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31966

You deserved it

3090

Favorite

By OiVey - 1/11/2017 18:30 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, I found out that I've been taking the wrong math class all semester. We're only a few weeks from finals and I have no drops left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3216

You deserved it

1517

Favorite

By CheesyCasey - 30/5/2013 00:51 - United States - Detroit

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37752

You deserved it

5904

Favorite

By Lola - 23/7/2012 04:31

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32686

You deserved it

4313

Favorite

By itswhateverr - 3/5/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

63644

You deserved it

4425

Favorite

By fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit - 12/10/2013 20:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45233

You deserved it

14882

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/8/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40945

You deserved it

8967

Favorite

By iliana74 - 20/4/2016 16:07 - United States - Hamilton

Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22819

You deserved it

2220

Favorite

By BikerBuddy - 14/5/2010 01:11 - France

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8764

You deserved it

46107

Favorite

By Pool-less - 4/9/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45904

You deserved it

2369

Favorite

By DamnDogs - 20/11/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21214

You deserved it

5549

Favorite

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38441

You deserved it

3531

Favorite

By fmlfmboyfriendah - 13/2/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40777

You deserved it

19833

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By bubbles1286 | 1

#753114 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:09

So ask your work to stop payment on the cheque and issue another....?

By blland | 0

#753149 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:25

I made this face :O for like, 10 seconds, making the sounds of "AWWWW. AWWWWW."

COMMENTS

By tukker | 0

#753112 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:09

well that wasnt very smart, was it?

By bubbles1286 | 1

#753114 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:09

So ask your work to stop payment on the cheque and issue another....?

cucuto89 | 0

#753165 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:31

yea exactly, thats why its a check, not cash.

The_White_Rabbit | 0

#761517 - Friday 8 January 2010 4:38

Hmm...so tell your boss to void the check and get a new one? Couple days inconvenience, but not that big a deal...

By Hugorgy | 0

#753117 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:10

Always check your pockets before throwing clothing in the wash. You can only blame yourself in this situation. If money was that important to you, I doubt you'd forget your paycheck like that.

chewyca99 | 14

#6652082 - Monday 18 July 2016 3:30

That doesnt make sense. Even if OP was the wealthiest person alive it still sucks to lose a check.

By GanjAxZermA | 0

#753125 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:13

yea I always check my pockets before hand.. you should so that too..

By mae18_fml | 0

#753145 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:24

that really, really sucks. FYL

By blland | 0

#753149 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:25

I made this face :O for like, 10 seconds, making the sounds of "AWWWW. AWWWWW."

By luhvjb | 0

#753150 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:25

happens all the time,I threw my brothers wallet in the washer & dryer last night.

By Pegasos989 | 0

#753173 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:34

YDI for using cheques. It's 21st century, nobody outside USA uses those anymore.

kaleid0scopeEyes | 0

#753297 - Sunday 3 January 2010 21:29

Because it's the OP's fault that the USA is the only place still using checks...

StaticDown | 0

#753413 - Sunday 3 January 2010 22:56

Yeah they do, my mom always does for everything, I get my paychecks and allowance/pocketmoney in check form. and I live in Europe.

unique_freak | 17

#755797 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:16

people still uses checks all the time in canada too, especially to get paid

By GCali4 | 0

#753189 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:48

oh my god that sucks! but im sure you could tell your boss and get another??

By Mylife_is_so_fd | 0

#753196 - Sunday 3 January 2010 20:49

YDI for not having your money directly deposited to your bank account.

betseyville | 6

#753324 - Sunday 3 January 2010 21:42

Some places don't offer direct deposit. My job doesn't and I washed my paycheck before. All you have to do is bring the damaged check and ask them to cut another one for you. They should do it for you.