Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML
Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML
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Top comments
HahaHokayThen 10
She's following a stereotype. But hey, at least now you're fit for all the ladies!
heylesha 8
now eat a lot and become "fluffy"
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Comments (107)
LaColombianita 26
Wow you must really like her if you did that for a year just to impress her... Doesn't seem jerkish to me. Is that even a word? o_O
Amrel 10
"I was feeling jerkish earlier today so i had a nice wank."
flockz 20
"the handjob was too dry and jerkish, so i ****** her with extra lube."
sofineedsaladder 10
c-c-c-combo-breaker!
THE_A_TEEN 28
"#61's humor is so dry and jerkish, burn his penis to death"
silentbutfunny 0
Your a jerk........ Ish? Idk i wasnt trying to bring in some descriptive sexual thing and thats the best i could do.
icy37 10
Yep, I think it's a word now.
docscientist 10
Are there a Jerkish people to be offended by this?
graham11 14
61- talking about yourself?
knoxxx 22
If she bases her opinion solely on the way a guy looks and doesn't bother finding out who they actually are, who cares. She's obviously a shallow biznatch. Find yourself a lady who really deserves you, OP.
melons 44
He wanted her to like him based on the way he looked, otherwise he wouldn't have bulked himself up.
knoxxx 22
Ok, smart ass, key word in my comment being "solely" his looks. Maybe he was buffing up to get her attention? Obviously he wanted her to like him enough to *date* him, not just enough to appreciate his body. Why does everyone on this site have to try and cut everyone else down?
GoW_Chick 15
32- maybe because it makes them feel better about themselves ? **** if I know i just find it funny to read.
melons 44
It's nothing personal; it was just a comment. Merry Christmas!
Dracoboxer357 36
Hugs for everyone!!! There, all better! Okay? Okay. ;) ps, Merry Christmas! :)
baseballplaya5 7
Well then don't go out with her
BeefyQueef 5
Bitch knows what's up
ninjuh_wingman 29
So she dates fat guys who arent jerks?
sweet_candy_ 17
Her loss op. Just move on.
GoW_Chick 15
Bitchs be crazy! Sorry had too Don't judge me!!
kidwiththeface42 7
Then what do I do with these thumbs up or down buttons...? Haha...
Pentium_4 27
that's pretty steriotypical. tell her you can proove her wrong and take her out to a nice restaurant and treat her like a lady
bobbycorwen 5
Revert back to the unfit nice guy... She'll then tell you that you are like a brother. This is code for you aren't a big enough jerk and you treat her too nicely.
jsm007 5
Tell her your dick is "big" to
THE_A_TEEN 28
...to ****-slap mis-behaving bitches?? I was thinking the same thing.
Dracoboxer357 36
(to #45) Right. Tell her that. And if that actually works and she agrees to date you, then she's even shallower than you could have possibly conceived before....and after proving that (in case you didn't get the hint the first time round), would You still want to date her? About as sharp as a bowling ball if you answered yes...