When you're too cute to look angry By Lewis - 31/01/2019 19:00 RESPECT MY AUTHORITHAY!!! I agree, your life sucks 1 257 You deserved it 843 Share Tweet Share
Today, a doctor squeezed so much cheese out of a huge lump on my nutsack, for a second I was convinced he’d poked a hole in my bollock and was squeezing out my baby-making juice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 120 You deserved it 437
Today, I realized two things: how much time I've spent waiting between lectures, and just how bad my love life is. I found out that I get incredibly jealous when somebody sits on my favourite bench in the centre of the campus. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 238 You deserved it 1 150
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 365 You deserved it 294
Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 837 You deserved it 182
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML I agree, your life sucks 36 910 You deserved it 2 351
Today, I turned 39 and I finally had my very first surprise birthday party. It was held by a group of video game animals in Animal Crossing instead of by real people, because I'm not important enough to them to remember my birthday without Facebook's intervention. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 445 You deserved it 293
AAAAAAAAHHHHH ✊ *cling*
What did that bell do to you? 😊