Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML
Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML
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Top comments
HahaHokayThen 10
She's following a stereotype. But hey, at least now you're fit for all the ladies!
heylesha 8
now eat a lot and become "fluffy"
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Comments (107)
mrdiehler 0
Jerks, they are awesome
silentbutfunny 0
No, they are jerks? Why would you think a jerk is awsome, thats like aaying you would want to befriend a terrorist
bimmergeek 5
She's right. Try not to be a tool if you can help it. You probably are though.
InYourFace1_fml 0
That sucks dude.
raghavk 2
Really Sucks man, 1 whole year of pain. :L But don't let your body degrade, keep it! Who knows, someone else might fancy you this new year? :P
Coccinelle_fml 15
Why didn't you find out more about her taste before doing all that?
jojimugo 20
Her loss with ur new body bet u can get a hotter chiq
silentbutfunny 0
Unrelated, idc if i get thumbs downed WHAT THE **** IS UP WITH NYAN CAT THINGY, WHAT IS SO ORGASMIC ABOUT IT THAT EVERYBODY IN JAPAN AND AMERICA WENT APESHIT OVER IT WHEN IT CAME OUT?!?! WELL?? WHY?!?!?!?
Ghizmo 1
I setup an account after reading what you had to say... Either you have had a crush on a random chick and NEVER talked to her, or you're simply lying. Also, to "Muscle-build" for a year with the only goal to impress your crush, well...That just makes you a helpless tool. Instead of spending time on body building, get a job and find out how much it would cost for a ballsack replacement.
desireev 18
Now, now! Just because he was trying to make himself the perfect candidate for his crush doesn't make him a "tool". Yes, he should have payed more attention to the girl instead of how big his muscles were getting. But all he was trying to do was "get the girl".. And it doesn't make him any less of a man. It makes him MORE of a man to try to conform him to what he thought his crush would like. I think it was a very sweet gesture. It's too bad it didn't work out for him.. But hey, nice guys always finish last.. As sad as it is to say it. Better luck next time, OP! Merry Christmas to all of you! :)
Ghizmo 1
He obviously had no idea what his crush "would like"...You also have no idea whether or not he is a nice guy. You're right, he should have "payed" more attention to his crush, or at least spoken to her a couple of times before deciding to dedicate a year of his life to working out - with her being the deciding factor in his decision to do so. Seriously, this was either a troll post or he's a helpless tool. There's really no other option.
ilovesarcasm 18
91- please continue to plant your little sunshine flower seeds in this field of animal scat. I see what you're trying to do here, and you're on to something. They WILL grow, and in time, it will still be a field of shit, but people won't realize it until they've walked across halfway. That's the best I can do. I'm sarcastic. Compliments are a work in progress. Merry Christmas dear.
ilovesarcasm 18
92: Last two sentences... Why do that to yourself? Here of all places... What do you think the answer is going to be now? And you posted so well and articulately, you could of been a contender.
ilovesarcasm 18
92 Ps: IT'S PAID. I didn't see that... You've gone and made my right eye twitch. Posting well with articulation does not account for blazingly obvious grammar errors. Never spell it with a Y again. You may be picked apart by other grammar vultures....
melons 44
Here comes a grammar vulture; it's could have, not could of, ilovesarcasm...
Dracoboxer357 36
Okay, I was just going to skim past this until I read "ballsack replacement" followed by #91's amazingly positive outlook on this guy. Desireev, I agree with ilovesarcasm....you're all heart girl! Keep shining, it's refreshing! :D Even saying that, I actually agree with Ghizmo more so, though only just. Negativity aside, the guy should have done his homework a bit better than just assuming hitting the gym will win all. If he was doing it for himself, excellent. For others solely? Sweet....but sad and misguided. :p Just throwing in my humble opinion where it doesn't belong, sorry! :)
MikeDa1Da 14
At least everyBODY else will be in to you. No? Okay... /cry
docscientist 10
That was kind of a weak pun, but no harm done.
ilovesarcasm 18
Eh, OK... needs a top-hat after it though... (bad-boomp-shing)
zequa 14
That's why you get built before you find the girl.
ilovesarcasm 18
97, that's exactly what OP did. She's not into built guys. OP gambled and lost...
AwkwardUnicorn_fml 2
Wow 0_0. You're very.... Nice to look at.
AwkwardUnicorn_fml 2
But anyways... ilovesarcasm's right.