Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
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Top comments
bushyyboy 11
Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?
Amama_fml 30
Don't you mean Little Guy?
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Comments (93)
ComplexChris 3
Haha
5t3ff1k4h 44
Even if you're 100% sure she will give the answer you want, don't ask. Curve balls are always flying.
jatinbhanot 6
ROFLMAO... this looks like right out of a SITCOM.. :)
exnavyando671 1
at least you have a girlfriend.
jelizabeth03 4
Why do guys always ask this question aren't you satisfied with the size that you need a girls opinion! Then you get all sensitive when you hear the truth
MissMeanie 5
Sounds like you need to go out and buy a big truck now.
Inked0803 12
Curiosity obviously didn't play out in your favor sir
icepick23 12
Why does it matter? You already knew the answer before you asked, anyway.
KiddNYC1O 20
This is important... UPS or FedEX?!
skinflint 6
if you had a big one she would have told you the first time you pulled your pants down. If you don't hear 'damn', or 'oh sh1t' that first time then you are no more than average.