Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?

Don't you mean Little Guy?

I'd be more worried about the amazon delivery guy's "package"

1 - In the wise words of Jack Nicholson and my doctor when I asked about my STD results,

"You can't handle the truth!"

I'll take the lie!

lmfao

I will never understand why people feel the need to comment lol or lmfao. I mean c'mon...really?

They don't know how to properly comment in threads is my guess. Maybe they think it's the same as live chat or texting.

They have yet to master the vast lands of all the Internets.

Just wait til she asks if she looks fat or her butt looks to big. You now have a response.

Actually, the cake is full of refined sugar/carbs, so I threw it out.

Jack Nicholson knows about your STD results 38? Cool!

87 - We should just go cakeless.

Well guys hate it when their girlfriend asks them if they put on weight and then get upset with their answer. Works in both directions.

Not really, girls can lose the weight easily. There not much that those poor dudes with small ones can do about their little buddies.

Well at least she is honest.

Every guy knows if he's big or not. Why ask if you're not?!

Because he is one of those annoying people who fish for compliments.

HEY ADMIN COME GET ME, OOOORAAAAH AMERICA

She wouldn't want him to be honest when she asks the inevitable "does this make me look fat?"

Yes she would, because she doesn't want to look awful in front of everyone.

The question is not big, but big enough?

At least the reply wasn't too short!

A small dagger in the hands of a well trained ninja is still a deadly weapon!

Yes exactly. It's not the size of the weapon, but the skill of the warrior!

It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean

A ninja has full control of his dagger, however I can not control the motion of the ocean. So is this a good metaphor?

113, well since it takes two to tango you need to know how to use your own weapon well but your partner needs to contribute as well and you cannot fully control that. So yes.

#59 your picture makes that comment so hilarious. imagining that grandma saying that, priceless haha

But it takes a long time to "get there" in a tug boat

Don't we all know if she asks"is it in yet?" You have a problem.

And exactly how many out there are highly trained? At least there is a school for ninjas. Little daggers got no hope.

Innuendo overkill.

She is still with him, so he must be doing something right with it.

Someones gonna need a care package, make your arsenal bigger ;)

Hopefully he'll get a predator missile.

Hopefully you two will stop with these awful Call of Duty puns.

Let us pun in peace.

Looks like his penis needs FMJ because it can't seem to penetrate.

Yes yes PUN ON! I'll give you a good blast from my rpg

After reading so many cod puns I'm surprised noone mentioned the noobtube..

Only a noob mentions the noobtube.

Call of duty is a bad game. The online is filled with annoying, high pitched, screaming 8 year olds who you can make cry by beating them in the game.

57, if you're gonna thread-jack, do it on a better comment. Thread jacking this post is like commondeering the short-bus.

Hmmm can't think of any puns.

If you asked her jokingly, perhaps she answered jokingly... It made me laugh, just a "little".

Don't ask the question if you don't wanna hear the answer buddy.

Well she's still your girlfriend, so I guess size doesn't really matter now does it?

It's not the size of the ship that matters, it's the motion of the ocean(;

However, it is pretty hard to get to England in a sailboat..

They did it for hundreds of years. It just takes longer!

I might not hit the bottom but imma fuck the shit out of the sides!

I don't know where I know that from it was just the first thing that popped into my head haha.

It's not the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean, it's whether or not he can stay in port long enough for all the passengers to get off

It's not how big your pencil is; it's how you write your name.

Or if he can get into the port at all...
-moustache twirl-

You actually made me lol

As long as you can put it to use!

When in doubt, measure and compare to national averages to get a completely honest result without having to get mad at anyone but your sexual development and genetic predispositions.

Perhaps he thought the three fingers measurement was for penis length and not scotch on the rocks?

Why would you taint scotch with ice?

Not sure, but I'm told it's traditional. I prefer cheap rye whiskey myself.

Nowadays they have cold rocks instead of ice cubes. Stylish and creative.