Miscellaneous: Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a...

By Anonymous - 22/11/2013 20:51 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 227

You deserved it 3 642

Miscellaneous

Mother of the year

Clerks 3

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

Can't win

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 02:00 - Australia

Today, I got yelled at for staying in my room too long; got yelled at for going out of my room; got yelled at for staying at a friend's place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 67

By yuhan - 22/07/2018 19:00

Today, while walking around outside with my friends, I was told that I have no right to complain about the heat since I'm not fat. Thirty minutes later, I had sweat out all the liquid in my body and promptly passed out from heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 811

You deserved it 491

By anon - 27/04/2016 00:11 - United States - Arverne

Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, it ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 2 116

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 145

You deserved it 64 143

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 21:16 - United States

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 2 668

By Hooperist - 25/05/2015 11:39 - United States - Murrieta

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 002

You deserved it 1 837

A Different Kind of Tension

By Anonymous - 24/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with once before my current boyfriend. The guy told me he has chlamydia, and I should probably get tested. I had to call my boyfriend to explain what happened and tell him to get tested. I'm meeting his family this weekend at his sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 530

By Biological - 11/02/2010 12:22 - United States

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 651

You deserved it 3 469

By ugh - 09/01/2013 01:01 - United States - Saint Clair Shores

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 708

You deserved it 3 203

Everyday is like Sunday

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 2 771

By Broon - 25/05/2012 19:55 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 2 510

By JAMjessie - 20/09/2016 16:54 - United States

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 313

You deserved it 860

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 482

You deserved it 67 292

By sarahc_c - 08/12/2014 09:17

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 966

By TheLostCauseFML - 31/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Quitman

Today, I'm so broke that I had a money nightmare. I'd accidentally purchased a single potato for exactly $22 and it was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 621

You deserved it 432

By aziraphaleelle - 18/03/2014 08:10 - United States - San Jose

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 4 346

Connecting people

By sam - 02/12/2020 23:01

Today, I learned that the person my ex-girlfriend left me for is my ex-girlfriend from before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 121

Mind your own beeswax, Amanda

By look in the mirror bitch - 10/11/2020 14:04

Today, I called someone out for her brazen homophobia. She was ranting about how gays are sinners. When I mentioned that she had three children by three different men, all out of wedlock, and was currently living with her boyfriend, also considered a sin, she reported me to HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 04:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 2 693

Get to work

By You must be joking - 03/07/2018 20:30

Today, my boss told me to sort and file all the paperwork he'd been randomly shoving into boxes since 2010. Apparently we're being audited, so he expects me to do eight years of filing in two weeks. There's enough paper to fully stock a large public library. Two weeks my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 4 880

By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 783

You deserved it 7 927

By Anonymous - 22/09/2014 17:41 - United States - Mckinney

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 493

You deserved it 3 083

By Adulting - 31/10/2017 21:24

Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 2 606

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 511

You deserved it 24 209

By Mixta - 03/01/2015 04:45 - France - Roubaix

Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 420

You deserved it 3 477

By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 036

You deserved it 3 707

Movie night

By nah - 11/06/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 1 613

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 17:18 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 874

You deserved it 4 476

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 167

You deserved it 36 572

By Joel - 25/08/2010 19:13 - United States

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 492

You deserved it 69 939

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 20:00

Today, I found out why I get so red all over at parties. Turns out I'm allergic to alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 191

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 8 335

By dumpedandstranded - 15/10/2009 20:19 - Canada

Today, I flew to Mexico with my (now ex) boyfriend of two years. It was my first time flying, and apparently I have a fear. I had a panic attack on the plane. When we landed, I got dumped for "causing a scene." I am now stranded in Mexico alone for two weeks with no hotel room booked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 756

You deserved it 5 161

By NoFriends - 02/08/2009 17:12 - United States

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 869

You deserved it 7 530

By rert - 16/07/2019 06:00

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 117

By yen - 07/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 826

You deserved it 1 084

By MrTandy - 16/09/2011 02:38 - United States

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 547

You deserved it 3 685

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 674

You deserved it 37 196

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Top comments

TheCrispyCat 20

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:41

I mean, I kind of expect it. Monopoly ruins relationships.

Ambient25 24

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:44

You should get back at him by sending envelopes to his address full of Thank You cards with monopoly money inside...

TheCrispyCat 20

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:41

I mean, I kind of expect it. Monopoly ruins relationships.

michaelaranda 28

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Saturday 23 November 2013 3:05

this bad? I mean, it probably required a lot of effort and planning on ops dads part

cheshirecat13242 32

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Saturday 23 November 2013 4:06

Life's a beach.. He really brought that one home to ya, huh?

soccerstar1996 18

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Saturday 23 November 2013 4:31

I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN MY MOM GETS PARK PLACE!!! Gahhhhh

AnOriginalName 19

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Saturday 23 November 2013 11:27

To be fair, #23, a lot of construction companies are often willing to deliver waste materials like dirt/sand for free. Otherwise, they have to pay to dump the materials at a landfill or someplace similar. To the OP: call a few tree-cutting companies in the area and ask them to dump a couple yards of mulch on your dad's driveway. Two can play at this game.

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

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Saturday 23 November 2013 12:59

23- Well, OP shouldn't have taken Boardwalk. OPs dad really wanted it. It was totally justifiable to dump a truckload of sand on someone's driveway for that. (sarcasm for all you humorless folk)

Exhaling 12

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Sunday 24 November 2013 1:45

Atleast it wasn't with your boyfriend and best friend and your boyfriend got so mad he said he cheated on you with your best friend last night..

A7XCamaro 19

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Sunday 24 November 2013 2:49

That was far to direct, exhaling.

154rct 7

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Sunday 24 November 2013 4:43

Its almost as bad as the uno draw four

hotshot0185 15

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:42

That is awesome

iAlissa 34

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:48

I would be pissed, personally.

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

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Saturday 23 November 2013 3:46

Me too 11, I hate losing at monopoly more than anything.

amatoy 11

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:44

How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?

Chumsword 8

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Saturday 23 November 2013 3:16

On their piles of money. Although that wouldn't be very sanitary.

TheCrispyCat 20

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Saturday 23 November 2013 5:45

Doesn't matter got money

Ambient25 24

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:44

You should get back at him by sending envelopes to his address full of Thank You cards with monopoly money inside...

radiocaf 29

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Sunday 28 June 2015 7:12

That's an awesome idea #5. I'm going to turn to you should I ever need a revenge plan!

SymphonyGrrl 12

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:45

If he ever needs money, give him all Monopoly dollars and then ask why he's upset.

Fenring41 1

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Sunday 24 November 2013 18:31

Or better yet: sand dollars

bigwiensch 15

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:45

flood his drive way with monopoly money

emilycb93 12

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:45

Time to grab a shovel

dane18 12

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:47

You should take a dump in his driveway

ninety 25

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:48

That will really show him.

iAlissa 34

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:54

I mean, I guess that's a good method of revenge if you're eight years old. Or a wild animal.

breakinlegs 19

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Saturday 23 November 2013 3:10

look at his profile picture, he is eight years old

Ambient25 24

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Saturday 23 November 2013 3:13

he sure acts it

imdabess 9

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Sunday 24 November 2013 22:17

"oh no a dump on my drive way, must definitely be my 30 year old son/daughter getting revenge."

Soundslikeothers 15

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:47

No I think the fact you didn't let him be the thimble factored more into to it

Mr_Loudmouth 9

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Saturday 23 November 2013 2:49

It's definitely time for a dead fish under the seat of his vehicle.

ksks1234 33

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Saturday 23 November 2013 4:46

That is easy to find. Get stinky cheese or shrimp, stick it in the vents. But that is mean and probably taking it too far.

cryssycakesx3 22

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Saturday 23 November 2013 5:35

glitter in the vents!!

kwyk 23

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Saturday 23 November 2013 6:58

crack an egg into the radiator... maybe not such a good idea if you ever want to hear from him again though

8born8 18

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Sunday 24 November 2013 16:15

Go to your local seafood market and buy some fish. Everyday put a piece of it under eaxh floor mat of his car. Slowly but surely, the stank shall grow.