Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
fventura03 0
it probably means she's cheating on you...
Ohnoitslindsay 0
#30, Go to hell.
aeturnus 0
I wish we could have follow-up stories. I'm ready to read how he later found out she was cheating on him and how she's leaving him cause the other guy still likes to take care of himself too.
wowfmlife 0
2 weeks? big whoop...
TryToBeKind 0
On one hand, no woman should have to have sex if she doesn't want to - not even with her husband or wife. On the other hand, no man should have to sit there and not get laid ever because their wife or husband simply doesn't want to. She does need to realize it's not all about her (baring medical reasons) - there is such a thing called lube and sacrificing for others sometimes. Waiting two weeks means you'r enot being a pushy jerk. Use your hand for now, but I'd suggest couple's counseling for lack of sex. if she refuses, then go alone and see if that helps you figure out whether or not to stay with someone
ikilledyourcat 0
Ha, #12 is funny.
tiltwrestler 0
Dude, #2, really? HIM cheat on HER? I think it's pretty obvious... SHE'S ALREADY CHEATING ON HIM!!! Distancing herself, contempt for him, purposely letting him get the message that she doesn't want him for sex, working out to work on her new self-image to get sexy for the "new guy" (especially a 30 minute workout), etc.... Doesn't this just "click" with anybody else?
tiltwrestler 0
PS if you're fat or unattractive, that's usually the cause. DO NOT LET YOURSELF GO! If you do, the wife will usually get annoyed, and think subconsciously that you "tricked her into marrying you" so you could "get fat on her". If you want to keep her love, respect, and affection... jump on that treadmill when shes not using it and do some hard miles!
shardsofmetal 0
#33: Thank you! I was just about to say that. #16: If you're going to criticize another's grammar and punctuation, you should make sure yours are correct.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Haha, #41/42, You are reading way too far into a woman not wanting to have sex. There is absolutely no claim to believe that she is cheating on him, at all. She said she was tired because she wasn't in the mood. That has no more correlation to her having extramarital affairs than to her having been abducted by aliens. And women do not think that anyone tricked them into marrying them so that they can get fat. WTF is that? If women get annoyed when their spouse gets out of shape it's because they're concerned for their health and find them less attractive, they do not conclude that it was a plot to force them into marriage.