Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
badumdum 0
#33, actually "is" is correct following that sentence... so #16 is right. when you have two words (grammar and punctuation), the to be verb after it must agree with the last object in the sentence, so punctuation is, not punctuation are.
tripb101 0
wow, to the idiots who actually think I'm going to take the time and make this a great little paragraph with correct grammar and spelling don't read blogs to see good grammar.... Secondly I'm an adult and a Management student, and can write grammatically correct after FOUR years of college shit i could write correctly after to i mean too i mean two years of college dip shit. I agree with #39 none of you really seem to be mature adults here
babble 0
Maybe rather than "hinting" you should have a conversation with your wife about your sex life . . . for some reason the thought of open communication in a marriage seems to shock people.
wowfmlife 0
two weeks really isn't that long
ThomasMcDonald 0
JUST JERK OFF!!!!!!
cartering 0
If you are old enough to have sex and don't know the difference between the feeling of sexual desire and the feeling for a desire to excercise are quite different your life is quite ******
DeathByIrony90 0
um, 42 I'm not married (hell not even in a relationship atm) but I thought there was an unwritten rule when you get married you don't care how much someone "gets fat on you", marriage means just that-you're past the superficial stuff and into mature love. Of course, some people never get to that level of maturity, and lets face it-there ARE limits. But I mean honestly, anyone who lets themselves get "tricked into marrying" someone who they "didn't know would 'get fat' on them" probably shouldn't be marrying in the first place; they're too naive. And I think a lot of people are missing the point. The point is, she LIED to him about not wanting sex. I'm sure it would have been much less of an FML if she actually WAS tired. Plus, if she makes that excuse, you can always go for the in the morning before school/work...
rose33red99 0
Why is the answer automatically cheating, it's his wife! And who says she was cheating, it doesn't mean that either. And he doesn't have to do anything all that exciting, but talk to her or note to see who's doing more work. If she has to do all of the housework her sex drive will decrease because she is tired. Point out the problem and people on this site need to grow up and realize that marriage is a sacred bond no running out when you're unhappy. If she is cheating then confront her and then take actions sheesh grow up people.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
#46, OP, if you are as educated and mature as you say, then writing correctly would come naturally to you. It's not something that you turn on and off. If you know how to write, then doing it incorrectly would take more effort than doing it correctly. And #39's post applies as much to you as to everyone else. You are acting like a child, whining that your "wife" isn't in the mood when you want her to be. Don't attempt to post FMLs if you can't deal with people pointing out your immaturity.
cprompt 0
Time for a long talk.