Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
HurriKaty 4
You should have gotten on the treadmill with her, naked.
HurriKaty 4
You should have gotten on the treadmill behind her. Naked.
Talon_FT_Vayant 0
Agreed with 5 and 11. I'm starting to wonder if you are actually an adult. You spelled Gonna as goona, your grammar and punctuation is terrible, and more spelling and capitalization errors. You're probably 11 and trying to make yourself cool on FML. FYL, if this is true.
pandacow 0
Agree with #13... she must have some sort of reason for not wanting to have sex. Maybe it's even bugging her as much as it's bugging you.
annika_fml 0
Maybe it's because YOU could use some more time on the treadmill. Just a hypothesis.
RespondomaticMan 0
She's holding out on sex with you, either for no good reason, or for a reason you don't want to hear. Divorce her.
22cute 17
there's always a good reason. He should stop his hinting and take her to a marriage counselor.
TenebrionHZ 5
Talk first? "B***h, you didn't have sex with me for 2 weeks I'm calling my lawyer." What?...
blowyourspeakers 0
16 - or maybe english isn't his first language.
reetah 0
two whole weeks? how are you still functioning!? >.> sheesh, maybe she just wasn't in the mood. don't give her a hard time about it. and I second the "talk to her" suggestion.
elmangy 0
she's probably hinting YOU to work the treadmill.