Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
wonnybot73 0
i'd beat her ass
nottootoxic 0
Here, I'm going to write this over for you with proper English: "Today I discovered I absolutely suck in bed and I've failed my wife as a sexual partner. FML."
ohreally123 0
Also, be supportive of her as a wife. Do something nice around the house or take her out to dinner or compliment her. Just because she's not wanting to have sex doesn't mean she's cheating on you, it might just mean she's got something on her mind or wants to see that you like having her around for more than just a quick boning. Tell her and show her you love her, sex or no sex. She's your wife, don't let her drift away.
Tehalon 0
Sounds like your wife is cheating on you.
judgeymcjudge 0
Dude, I can't believe you're counting when it's only been two weeks. Two weeks, man. Chill the **** out! So she didn't wanna get down with you, but had no problem using the treadmill? And you think there's some comparison? Pfft. Sex is a lot more effort than a simple run on the 'mill. It requires a certain level of enthusiasm and if you're not in the mood (and your partner doesn't even try to get you there, and just makes semi-sutble/suggestive comments) then you're just NOT IN THE MOOD. It doesn't mean she's cheating, or that you should cheat, or that you need marriage counselling, or any other god damn idiotic suggestion that's been posted here. Jesus Christ. It's 14 sex free days. Dramatic much?? FYL for being a married man who not only LITERALLY counts the days from his last lay, but "hints" at sex rather than actually trying to get his woman in the mood. FYL indeed.
Nadramia 0
no big deal... sometimes i dont want to have sex with my BF just because Im just not feeling it or well... no..no it just that im not in the mood.... and it not because he isnt good in bed... which He realllyy is... its just im not up for sex....
humpty_dumpty_fml 0
/useforcedivorce XD
Atropos_fml 0
Since when does a woman not wanting to have sex instantly mean she's cheating?
jillz 0
2 weeks. Oh my! However will you go on living? See this is the problem with most men. Please realize that she has every right to simply not want sex and that it doesn't always have to be about you. Sex is not needed for a good relationship. Your love won't die if you don't get to use her to relieve yourself. Please just forget your penis exists, when you're not urinating.
Dhamy 0
I agree with #3 And also, your wife is a bitch. Did you mention that to her 'honey, you went on the treadmill when you were 'too tired' to have sex'..."