Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
hpnerd 0
Maybe she's self conscious about her weight and ran on the treadmill to burn calories. At least she's staying healthy.
hpnerd 0
Maybe she's self conscious about her weight and didn't want to get naked in front of you and ran on the treadmill to burn calories. Maybe she's on her period. At least she's staying healthy. sorry for the double post.
IPreferBlondes 0
WTF are husbands so whiny about? Just cause your married doesnt mean she will always wanna ****. Learn to turn them on, dont just hint at sex. While she's cookin dinner go up behind her and kiss her, tell her she smells nice then after dinner pull her on the couch and foreplay. Its just like getting a random girl in the sack, warm them up, and they put out. YDI for your apparent lack of game.
genius_man16 1
While i agree with most people that said that she's probably not cheating on him, the fact that she lied to him instead of just saying "i'm not in the mood" does make it much more likely that she /IS/ cheating on him. There is no way to know for sure, but the OP seems to fail at communication, and the wife seems to be quite distant, so this relationship might be doomed even if she isn't cheating on him.
colortherainbowx 0
She's cheating. YDI for being bad at sex.
pancakelover 0
Sleep with her fine ass sister.
KeithHarris 0
If you're doing everything you can to please your woman and she isn't fulfilling your needs and doesn't feel it's important to do such then all I can say is I hope you don't have any kids yet and I have the divorce papers if you need them :-D You deserve better than that. You get into a relationship to help fulfill eachothers needs emotionally and sexually, if you're doing both for her and she's not doing the same for you then chances are, at least in my experience, she's getting it from somewhere else. if you're a priority for her and she takes you for granted then drop her like a hot rock and let her use the treadmill as a vibrator instead. If I were married and my wife doesn't give a crap after 'two weeks' (way too long. somethings up. don't care what issues she has.... that's messed up) If I'm apparently working 5 days a week and busting my ass for her, so she can be comfortable, being there for her and she's taking me for granted... she wouldn't be worth my time. Give her a chance to get her shit together and a time limit to let you know wtf is going on and if she refuses to be honest after you are to her, pack the bags sir. Sorry to rant but I hate it when women pull that kind of crap on good loving guys. Unless you're a dick, then YDI :-D
SocialxMoon 0
"If I were married and my wife doesn't give a crap after 'two weeks' (way too long. somethings up. don't care what issues she has.... that's messed up)" First of all, two weeks may be 'way too long' in your opinion, but there are people out there who are happy to settle for less. Plus, a common symptom of depression is loss of libido or interest in sex. This can go on for weeks, months or even years. Does that mean that you should disregard the fact that someone's too ill to want sex, & try & get them to put out anyway? No. #72, I can understand what you were trying to say, but you've come across as a bit of a jerk. There are legitimate reasons for people not wanting sex, & that doesn't make them 'messed up'. Besides, we get by without sex for roughly sixteen years, so it's not like we need to do it in order to survive as an individual.
i_like_chicks 0
HAHA sucks to be married eh ;)
kingsley_fml 8
Definitely cheating on you with the treadmill.
JGant333 0
She was probably trippin on dextromethorphan