Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
rupindah 0
You know, the point of comments is to comment on the FML story. Not on their grammar, or spelling. He could be from another country. Yes, sorry to say, but not everyone in the world speaks English. What a shocker. Sucks for you. Be more open. Communication means everything in a relationship.
Kitty34_fml 0
She probably wasn't in the mood. I think a lot of guys don't realize that most women need to be in the mood for sex. It's not one of those I'm-willing-to-do-it-24/7 kind of things like it is for most guys. I don't think she was lying when she said she was too tired, then went on the treadmill. Personally, I get more worked up and sweaty having sex than I do on a treadmill.
I_am_stupid_also 6
#5 "Did you miss the memo that said that, once you're married, your wife has every right to deny you sex for however long she wants, and she will probably abuse said power?" Legally yes, but she can expect a divorce. Of course two weeks is obviously way too short for that, considering one week of that might be for biological reasons. Often I feel tired at the beginning of a workout and the energy just comes later. This guy sounds like a turd for thinking he can get laid just by dropping a hint. He's got to show some game, even with his wife.
nomadxx7 0
Everyone is missing something out of the post. If she said she was tired and then went to workout the chemicals and adrenaline and everything else released into her body would have woken her back up. The OP should have then asked her if she wanted to have sex. If it was more excuses he should sit down and talk about it with her. She could be doing it for herself, someone else, or any variant in between. The main problem I see is that her excuse was moot after she was done exercising and the OP should have then re-asked her if she wanted to have some sex. It could be like people said that she wasn't in the mood or feeling sexy or that as I've learned over time that most of the time women will give emotionally/sexually towards 1 partner and if you're not it... it's someone else.
FoundManyLemons 0
10, 37/48: A fortnight *is* a long time to go without sex in a relationship. Damn. OP: Yeah, maybe she is cheating on you (lying saying she's tired, working out maybe to impress someone else) but maybe not. Obviously she's not communicating with you however, so have a long talk where you lay your cards out on the table. You haven't had sex in 2 weeks, she lied saying she was tired, so what's up? Gotta find out what's bothering her, let her get it off her chest, and if you can, even fix it. Mostly listen though. And if she's not gonna open up, you may be on the downhill slope, because there's a communication breakdown here. Oh, and FYL, because 2 weeks without sex.
ohreally123 0
You need to talk to her about this.
kellster 2
Guess you're not much fun in bed, dude! Also: learn to spell.
nina_fml 0
I think #50 about sums it up.
Bobthebuilder09 0
Dude since you are married and shit you must be pretty old so LEARN to spell right!
basicperfection 16
...18 year olds can get married. At least where I live
mjsmclaren 0
She's getting all fit for the other man in her life