Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
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Top comments
powerade 0
I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?
hydronium 0
Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.
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Comments (155)
FreedomFirst 0
Ask her to buy you some **** for your birthday; maybe she'll get the hint.
Dhamy 0
LMFAO! #14!
MGW501 2
I think she's cheating on you, or thinking of leaving. Your 'hinting' might also need a little work from a foreplay front too.........
Dhamy 0
#24- EXACTLY! She's a meany, and a liar!
bad_karma89 0
#46. Trip, buddy. You get angry and call people immature for pointing out your lack of grammatical accuracy in the original FML post, then proceed to list off your resume to attempt to impress us. Please realize that it takes no more effort to write in accordance with the rules of proper English. And I personally don't think that calling people "dipshit" is a sign of maturity. So, if you're going to call people out on not being "mature adults", please take the time to show a little maturity yourself. And, although there will always be those among us who will act immature, it does no good to rage over it, as they will undoubtedly continue to do so. As for the actual FML, talk to her about it. Settle whatever problem is there; it might be something she dislikes about you, or it could be something she dislikes about herself. Don't assume she's cheating on you, and definitely don't start cheating on her. If you can't settle the issue between yourselves, consider marriage counseling.
vitamin_f 0
I agree with #31 (the first part of it). I'm surprised it took 31 comments even. That was my first thought upon reading this entry.
Panicattackx5 0
How strange, she wanted to exercise, but wasn't horny.
helios_rex 0
Bitch is cheating on you!
Dusa_fml 0
Wow people are shallow who are saying divorce her just because she's not in the mood. Wives are NOT sex machines who will give out whenever you feel like it, pricks. You need to talk to your wife if there is something wrong with your sex life.
basicperfection 16
How are you getting down votes???
eternalaphrodite 0
This does not mean she is cheating on you. She may indeed have been to tired to have sex with you and actually enjoy it/give you any pleasure. But plenty of women can force themselves to get on a treadmill regardless of fatigue, in order to get/stay in shape. Also, she may have given an excuse because (1) she wasn't in the mood but didn't want to hurt your feelings or (2) she was feeling insecure/stressed/etc. which the treadmill might help her feel better about.