Forgive me FML, for I have sinned.

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Man, I've been sinning all my life!

If shitting is a sin I wonder what her view on sex is....

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Man, I've been sinning all my life!

I seriously don't understand this woman.

I wonder what she did when she had a baby and it pooped in its diaper (assuming she had a baby). "Bad baby. How dare you? Where did I go wrong in raising you?! You must repent. You're a disappointment to the whole family YOU TERRIBLE CHILD." *baby cries* "I SAID REPENT!"

Fuck, I am screwed... I sinned three times today. Well 3 and a half, damn you Internet porn and hot sauce...

Forgive me FML, for I have sinned.

Someone's been playing a little too much GTA. I wouldn't be surprised if op said age was beat and robbed

55- you have made me laugh more than I should have

Sounds like the plot line of "Carrie".

OP was releasing some pretty bad demons..

Best comment I've ever read.

"I smell a soon to be dead old woman." Your story has inspired me to carry devil horns everywhere I go. If this ever happened to me, I'd put them on, and come bursting out the door, bugging them to trade me their eternal soul. Sad thing is, this seems like nothing out of the norm for the Wal-Mart crowd.

that's expected when your in Wal-Mart

So did you outfart him like Peter Griffin?

If shitting is a sin I wonder what her view on sex is....

She's probably catholic and a vigin... She drank gallons of cum and can't hold in a poop, but still a virgin.

34- did you never know a catholic school girl? They would take a penis everywhere but where God intended and call themselves virgins.

A super duper sin?

I would've sinned all over her shoes, if y'know what I mean.

Are you perhaps an emotional little sister who likes BBQ chips?

She's a sinner too. I loathe people.

Oh, gotta love The People of Walmart.

Does she pray every time she shits?

I pray to god every time I shit after Taco Bell.

"Well, Lord, it seems I've failed you again. Forgive me, Lord, for I have taken a shit." God- "Ugh, jeez, you're forgiven, okay. Just stop calling me when you're on the toilet, Margaret."

"hail Mary, full of shit..."

that sounds strange, After dinner you thank god for the food, and then when the food returns to the open world you've to ask for forgiveness?

Once at work a woman ran into the stall next to me and starts having the runs... all I hear her whisper is "oh sweet Jesus, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" repeatedly. Best day of work that day lol

I really hope so. I just picture this old woman in a public bathroom stall praying out loud every time she shits. "Oh, sweet Jesus, forgive me for my sin..." *shits*

You should have taken the cane and dunked the handle in the toilet

Yeah, dropping a sin-sational deuce. If people whack on the door and screw with you while you're pinching a load, I think you have the right to let your inner primate out.

I laughed so hard at this...

And that's why I don't use public restrooms!

That's why? It's not for another logical reason? You have a fear that this exact situation will happen to you?

Lol you thought I was serious? Yes I have a fear of an old lady banging on the stall while I take a shit.