Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
What else could you possibly expect after falling asleep on a public bus? Don't you watch ****?? Don't you know what kind of things people like every1luvsboners are capable of? No offense, Boners...
perdix 31
Elbows? I'd have put my hands down your shirt, but that's just me.
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Comments (61)
banana_buddy 6
Wow the guy on that bus must have been a complete dumb ass. He should have already made it into her pants by the time she woke up. I feel bad for this guy, broken neck and missed opportunity, poor fellow =(
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Op, he was hungry! He saw them BBQ fried chicken breasts and couldn't control himself! Sharing is caring, fatass!(:
TwoZeroOZ 2
#7, maybe where you're from, but over here, I've never heard anyone say "I stroked her breasts". Just sounds weird.
Freeze_fml 17
But where were his hands?
Doortje 30
They were touching something else...
lmfaoyeehawhaha 0
Lmfao @ 28!
Ninjafriends 1
You're lucky you didn't wake up a minute earlier when he was rubbing his ankle on your crotch. What's with using joints to stroke?
4bidden 0
lmfao thats funny as **** "faf"
tanjoodo 3
**** isn't funny...
easwhitey 0
what ever happened to the good old days when you coulod get on a bus and stroke a womans breast with your hands and she didnt get offeneded? times are changing people.
Xythenol 6
It's because he didn't use his hands. That's why she was so offended.
takemetomars 0
well I don't seem to mind when pol touch my boobs(:
zapzapp 0
ewww! that's disgustingg.
wilsonchewy 0
you are hot
macskapingvin 0
You are insane. The word stroking could have been invented just for breasts. Caressing is another good word.
mintcar 10
Hahaha, were you expecting something completely different on public transportation?
unidentified_sta 5
Yes, Prince Charming. Not Mr. Elbows
TwoZeroOZ 2
Yeah I think people where I live would look at me weird if I started saying that. Stroking is for other things.