By fckdsamaritan - 16/12/2010 19:35 - Tunisia

Spicy
Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 301
You deserved it 4 322

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What else could you possibly expect after falling asleep on a public bus? Don't you watch porn?? Don't you know what kind of things people like every1luvsboners are capable of? No offense, Boners...

Elbows? I'd have put my hands down your shirt, but that's just me.

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What else could you possibly expect after falling asleep on a public bus? Don't you watch porn?? Don't you know what kind of things people like every1luvsboners are capable of? No offense, Boners...

That law only applies to *people,* every1luvsboners.

Holy shit Doc! If what you say is true then I'm on my way to the bus stop right now!!! God bless America! Am I right?

Virgin alert.

You just need to learn to be more tolerant, everybody shows their appreciation in different ways!

Seriously though, when I appreciate someone I make sure they thoroughly understand by gently rolling back the foreskin of my very long and very uncircumcised penis and lightly tapping an exposed area of their skin with the previously hooded head of my penis so as to allow them to feel the concentration of fallic mucus that has formed beneath the foreskin to lubricate the shaft and moisturize the skin. The recipient of this honorable gesture is aware of the intensity of appreciation by the amount of mucus that has been discharged onto their body. Oh man, this dude at the grocery store let me have the last pint of my favorite ice cream after both reaching for it simultaneously yesterday- you should have seen how appreciated that guy felt!! he was wearing a long sleeve turtle neck so when you got a few feet away from him the fallic mucus glistened on his cheeks under his eyes like enormous tears that slowly rolled down his face and came to a rest in a pool on the lip of his turtleneck's collar. It was beautiful to know I could touch people so delicately in return for kind gestures and sweet favors. Only in America! Am I right?

Stop it! Get some help!

isn't showing appreciation wonderful! <3

I can't believe I just read that, let alone that someone sat down and wrote that.

I think he means that most people dont associate breasts and 'stroking'

I'm sure it was an accident. Elbows have a mine of their own!

I bet you'd wish someone would stroke your breasts

that's messed up we are all thinking it but you didn't have to say it

you wouldnt fuck the shit outta that hot blond? damn whats the world coming to?

You cannot be serious.

Are you taking the piss, people? Actually, please don't answer that, we don't need fireworks again before New Year's Eve.

After all these "I fell asleep in the bus/train/library/etc. and then __________. FML" FMLs, you'd think people would be smart enough not to fall asleep in public anymore.

I fell asleep while driving my car the other day, thank God no one tried to stroke my breasts.

You fell asleep while driving? I'm surprised you didn't submit an FML about running into a house.

Elbows? I'd have put my hands down your shirt, but that's just me.

Mm.. Enjoy it while it lasts!