Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (880)
hawkloverr 0
Um. Why are they like that? That sucks. I hope that doesn't happen to my son :(
fml_and_gfy 0
Quality parenting.... Sounds suspiciously like white trash
girlnamedkris 0
Such a classic.
rytomzwife 0
That's exactly why I homeschool my kids!
eric_p 0
your a horrible horrible parent, beat your children more often
westerngirl007 0
Well, your kids have obviously heard these phrases on more than one occasion because they obviously know what these words mean, having used them in the right way. (not to say that these words are right for kids to be using, but as in they know what these words mean). If you know your kids have not heard these words from you, then maybe look into their babysitters or something. I doubt that they have heard these words at school if they are 7 and 8. But, if they did learn these words from you, then maybe its time to start making sure that your kids aren't around before using that kind of language, if you don't want them to repeat it. By the way, I can't believe all of these people bashing you and automatically assuming that these words came from you. They very well may have, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.
paks7 0
442: you consider soap in the mouth torture? sure its unpleasant but id say torture is a little exaggerated and the public school thing? maybe some of you need some clarification...that inner city school scene is not exactly what all public schools are like... i hate to tell you but private school kids are just as bad where i come from more kids from the private school are the ****** who get knocked up before graduation
FurrTrap 0
If they talk like that now, clearly they are not going to be verbally inhibited as the years go by. Try getting them interested in unusual words with a dictionary & thesaurus on a daily basis. Make it fun!
Moemoemoe_fml 0
It's?either school, or your family has a problem. XD Either way, I'd say YDI partially at least, because one notices those things and tries to correct them at home. Parents exist, among other things, to undo the mess society does to their kids heads. :X
derekjeter92 0
omg thats hilarious. Favorited' xD