Work: Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 90

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 44

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 26

09/07/2014 16:54

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 286

You deserved it 3 972

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Dysfunctional

Always call first

25/07/2010 09:06

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 818

You deserved it 127 436

02/09/2012 23:47

Spicy

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 374

You deserved it 5 337

04/07/2014 19:04

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 843

You deserved it 3 418

20/05/2012 05:19

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 2 537

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 23:01

Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 222

08/05/2009 21:46

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 247

You deserved it 10 349

20/10/2014 09:28

Spicy

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 3 943

Check this out

By cunning glassist - 08/03/2014 20:53

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 085

You deserved it 10 890

23/08/2012 05:24

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 1 709

18/02/2014 05:45

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 084

You deserved it 5 315

Boo!

By Today - 29/09/2019 16:08

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 330

17/06/2017 22:00

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 520

You deserved it 1 022

11/07/2019 14:00

Today, while bowling on a first date, the guy I ended things with 3 days before was bowling too. In the lane next to ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 519

10/08/2016 20:53

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 288

You deserved it 1 222

Falling down

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 00:01

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 173

23/11/2015 01:14

Today, after my landlord commented on how rarely I drink milk, and I joked that I'm "probably going to die young" because of it. Then I immediately remembered that her 35-year-old husband died last year of a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 313

You deserved it 4 864

Me is what matters

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 05:01

Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 96

29/11/2010 21:17

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 388

You deserved it 3 918

21/09/2009 19:08

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 460

You deserved it 26 798

13/09/2011 06:05

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 948

You deserved it 10 474

09/05/2013 05:30

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 333

You deserved it 4 280

29/07/2010 01:24

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 4 151

08/02/2010 01:56

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 857

You deserved it 33 108

14/08/2009 01:46

Spicy

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 20 597

It's not me

By LDF - 25/12/2008 10:30

Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 068

You deserved it 1 920

17/04/2013 06:14

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 392

You deserved it 6 063

16/10/2013 00:38

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 140

You deserved it 3 278

05/08/2012 23:25

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 534

You deserved it 2 311

21/10/2013 19:07

Spicy

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 667

You deserved it 4 463

Time for an intervention

By Sierra Madre - 20/10/2019 04:00

Today, I got yelled at all day at work, only to come home and get yelled at by my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 161

14/11/2013 22:44

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 614

You deserved it 3 108

09/07/2012 01:29

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 801

You deserved it 5 023

Worth it

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 22:58

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 64

18/09/2012 04:25

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 2 289

11/01/2011 17:09

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 422

You deserved it 3 382

31/10/2010 00:37

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 523

You deserved it 30 622

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 071

28/01/2012 01:20

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 835

You deserved it 36 552

06/05/2011 01:49

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 15 529

08/09/2009 12:29

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 274

You deserved it 79 223

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:33

I will never understand the level of stupidity that some have

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:35

I presume this is the same guy that asks for the price of stuff at Dollar Tree.

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:33

I will never understand the level of stupidity that some have

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:48

I can just imagine a GROWN man yelling about not getting served as he sees other people getting their own food...that's kinda sad

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:50

I am so glad stupidity isn't contagious

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 23:10

#1, I thought your picture was a hairy leg...

sayyestothedress 24

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 23:45

What is #1 picture anyways?

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Thursday 10 July 2014 1:54

carved letters in an electricity pole it seems :p

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Thursday 10 July 2014 4:30

That guy definitely was not the smartest tool in the shed

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Thursday 10 July 2014 4:33

He is still a tool however

amicusbriefs 10

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Thursday 10 July 2014 4:59

Sadly, #19, in some cases stupidity is contagious. Some people do such idiotic things just because other people are doing them.

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Thursday 10 July 2014 10:23

#24 and #39 carved initials in a tree. I never saw it as a hairy leg until you mentioned it 24 lol.

christian1509 21

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:35

Some people just need a reason to bitch, he was probably just stressed so don't let it get you you OP

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:49

why is this comment down voted ? people who are stressed out often fail to see what's right in front of them.

PenguinBitch 43

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 23:04

It's voted down because there's an option to vote it down and therefore we have a right to vote it down because we just feel like voting it down.

ChristianH39 30

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Thursday 10 July 2014 1:04

I downvoted 21 just for the irony

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Thursday 10 July 2014 2:35

Same

JJ_86 22

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Friday 11 July 2014 1:00

Stressed don't give you the right to vent off your anger at someone. Especially strangers. Add a crazy boss too and it could have cost OP the job.

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:35

I presume this is the same guy that asks for the price of stuff at Dollar Tree.

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Thursday 10 July 2014 5:36

Or the guy who goes to Walmart in sweatpants that prominently feature his ass crack. Wait, we're not just listing the types of people we hate? :)

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Thursday 10 July 2014 9:22

Really just had to ruin that didn't you?

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:36

People make mistakes, especially at new places. It must be frustrating having to deal with those people though.

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 23:08

Ain't nobody got time for him! I'm sorry OP some people just need a guitar string slap right to their faces.

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Thursday 10 July 2014 0:39

The OP of the guitar post said he wouldn't wish that pain on his worst enemies. So I don't think that guy deserves that, he just needs to calm down and be more observant.

avadakedabra 15

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:36

He was probably just having a bad day. Still, that doesn't give him an excuse to be a jerk. Sorry about that OP. FYL indeed

avadakedabra 15

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:39

Ah. I just saw #2 said about the same thing. My bad

phoneaddict13 29

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:41

your bad alright, he also got thumbed down

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Thursday 10 July 2014 0:53

#9, So did you.

False_Stupidity 41

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Thursday 10 July 2014 0:56

To be fair, your comment was within a minute of #2's.

avadakedabra 15

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Thursday 10 July 2014 3:43

Well thank you #37

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:38

Some people do that to get attention. Ignore them OP. At the end, it's them who look silly.

cynicalsatireman 12

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:39

He must not have known that education is also self-serve.

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:42

You should have told him that is why the word waiter contains the word wait, and if he doesn't like it he should get it himself.

christiandiaz15 2

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:43

But did he still get served?

Miss_Chevious 37

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Wednesday 9 July 2014 22:44

This guy needs to be reminded that service at a 5star hotel is different from a self-serve place