Health: Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I...

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 586

You deserved it 3 492

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Same thing different taste

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 500

You deserved it 713

By Lolly - 12/09/2018 23:30

Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 829

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 199

You deserved it 2 766

By Jobby - 30/06/2012 12:48

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 757

You deserved it 2 713

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 163

Good times, bad times

By st3phani3b - 26/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 222

By cmoney6452 - 01/03/2012 16:17 - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 186

You deserved it 2 512

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 5 749

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 72

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 723

You deserved it 3 070

sucksforyoudude 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

sucks for you babe, get to feelin better

lolcatsyo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

I recommend an apple a day.

Comments

Blink182ftw 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:48

Suck it up bitch!

sum1savemeh 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:37

suck it up? you must be a male.... damn you

LforLove 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:41

seriously man we males have no comparison of that time of the month,we can't relate to it, but if I had to I'd say it's like the ring of fire

johncow123 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:54

i am responsible for one of the holes

LechLaAzaziel 2

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:00

oh man that blows. hope ya feel better.

rosario_hates7 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:07

ya feel better that must really suck

jeaniechic 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:21

ugh, that would suck !

Gunguy 11

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:14

Wow imagine doing a number 69

solidsoul 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:27

ew, that's ******* disgusting. here's my fml. Today, I heard the most grossest story ever, fml. D:

5upernova 3

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:27

I hope you are drinking lots of water or else dehydration may be added onto the list!

danielle8D 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:30

dude seriously! i just ate!! (not kidding)

LforLove 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:37

that's enough to make a brotha say DAYUM!!!!!!

Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Love Mother in law Argument AITA Miscellaneous Fear Insects Health Skincare Cats Jealousy Gross Work Coworkers Dogs Animals Drugs Fire Awkward Money Cars Transportation Scams Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

The Top

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 220

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

The Top

Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 998

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 841

You deserved it 2 997

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 303

You deserved it 20 608

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 658

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 8 469

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 1 536

Same thing different taste

States of matter

Good times, bad times

Plumbing issues

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