Health: Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I...

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 586

You deserved it 3 492

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Same thing different taste

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 713

By Lolly - 12/09/2018 23:30

Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 829

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 198

You deserved it 2 766

By Jobby - 30/06/2012 12:48

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 757

You deserved it 2 713

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 161

Good times, bad times

By st3phani3b - 26/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I'm stuck at home waiting on a plumber to come fix the flooding in my basement. The flooding happens when any sink, shower, or toilet in the house is used. Today is also the day that I started my period. Without water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 222

By cmoney6452 - 01/03/2012 16:17 - United States

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 185

You deserved it 2 512

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 5 749

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 72

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

sucksforyoudude 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

sucks for you babe, get to feelin better

lolcatsyo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 16:02

I recommend an apple a day.

Comments

F_ur_life_douche 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:09

a concussion diahrrea (wrong spelling I know) and gouged eyes and u have every orifice covered

Lordelefant 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:25

lol! This made me laugh :D

Hulege 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:30

Do not make this an illsutrated FML...

butlerreid 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:42

that's ******* disgusting

grog_fml 3

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:59

um that's really gross. tmi

honeybee366 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:03

that's nasty to say

waywick 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:14

can I have your number? ok ok how about just a pic?

xsi0pao 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:21

thats hott. :] LOL

Loserly 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:23

Ugh, been there. My condolences, but at least it will eventually go away.

Idontgivedamn 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:26

Who moderated this one. This is FML for everyone who read this, way too much information.

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 19 038

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 236

You deserved it 37 867

The Top

Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 248

Today, a student turned in homework she copied off an online answer key. The wrong key. My students are too stupid to cheat right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 833

You deserved it 310

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 3 142

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 806

You deserved it 50 840

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight; I asked him if he could spend a few nights with me instead of his PS5. We haven't had sex in 2 months because he is always playing the PS5 at night till late, and he wakes up late too. This means no opportunities to have sex at night, or the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 304

Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 103

Same thing different taste

States of matter

Good times, bad times

Plumbing issues

Top comments

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