Love: Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being...

By lex - 14/02/2013 11:01 - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 12 280

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/11/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 6 656

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 627

You deserved it 36 825

By Lindsay - 07/02/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 446

You deserved it 44 115

By SY5623 - 12/08/2015 00:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 874

You deserved it 1 926

By walkingdictionary - 18/01/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 633

You deserved it 36 882

What word was it?

By BigBall - 09/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 685

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 407

You deserved it 31 973

By Alyssasgoneawol - 24/12/2016 09:33 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 665

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 1 850

By randomgirl - 07/01/2012 14:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 103

You deserved it 14 817

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 14 February 2013 16:25

She said coitus didn't she?

Cbizzlez 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 16:25

You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

Comments

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 15 February 2013 5:44

He probably saw the confused look on your face and wanted to lend you his dicktionary.

danapark 6

Friday 15 February 2013 6:30

Blonde problems.

Japie89 3

Friday 15 February 2013 12:50

Penny?

bexxiiee 11

Friday 15 February 2013 21:19

I feel sorry for you, but YDI for being a dumbass...

kristirhong 12

Saturday 16 February 2013 22:20

This actually happened to me once too. XD

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 17 February 2013 8:13

You may not be smart enough for this person.

suiyuan1314 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 8:57

lol

flashback_fml 14

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:09

Are you a "special person"

TcheQ 12

Tuesday 23 July 2013 8:14

I want to know what the word(s) was/were :S

Federgirl 19

Sunday 26 January 2014 0:52

LoL that stinks!

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Fight Family Gross Customers Work

The Top

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 19 038

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 351

You deserved it 4 201

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 6 130

Today, due to some serious health and financial issues, I literally have no choice but to have my mom watch my kids. She's turned my son into the most spoiled insufferable brat, I can’t stand it. Then I feel like I’m punishing him at home for what his grandmother enforces in hers. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 162

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 187

Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 294

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 143

You deserved it 1 837

Same thing different taste

What word was it?

Nice try

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