By lex - 14/02/2013 11:01 - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 028
You deserved it 12 280

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.


XDsmileyDX_fml 24

That's depressing. Did you pass up a good opportunity?

mrperspire 4

Some people flirt differently. Some are really friendly, really mean, or are just shy.... Or maybe OP was just oblivious to what was going on.

I hope OP didn't have to use the Urban Dictionary..

stevenJB 25

Fellate, phallus, uterus, coitus, depths down under >.>

Sinamoi 18

Another troubling case of coitus interruptus...

When I flirt I usually try to work the word uterus into the conversation. Gets them every time.

Stewie- they will make you call fellatio a trowser-friendly kiss

You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

Do you work on computers? Cause you just turned my floppy disk into a hard drive

Hmm I've noticed your port is empty, would you like me to plug it?

#3- As a tree doctor, you had me at auxin. I love it when my fiance talks nerdy to me.

hey, your sine must be pi/2 because your the 1

If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Hmmm... L's, L's.... Ah, here it is... "LOVE: 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers." Oh why thank you!

perdix 29

Watch out if it's the Urban Dictionary. If you are having to look up blumpkin, Alabama Hot Pocket or felching, you may want to let this one go. PS: If you don't know what these mean, DON'T look them up. Those of us who have wish we hadn't.

Now you've planted the, "I know I'll vomit if I look this up but I just have to," seed. Not cool, Perdix, not cool.

Or if he says he wants to give you the rusty hook, or dirty Sanchez just walk away.

beej821410 6

I knew the others, but the hot pocket was new. I tried not to look it up, but the temptation was too much! Not cool #7, I'll never be able to eat a hot pocket again

A Cincinnati bow tie was the most disgusting thing I ever found on there!

perdix 29

#13, #22, I'm trying to help you learn the discipline of purposeful ignorance. Yes, curiosity got the better of me with those terms and the Blue Waffle (oops!), and I've become a lesser person because of it. I'm hoping you will learn from my mistakes. I've happily avoided looking up Special Fried Rice for a few years, so there is hope that you can do this, too.

What is people fascination with "shitty" sex?

perdix 29

#22, Jim Gaffigan ruined Hot Pockets for me. Look up his "Beyond the Pale" show where he has an entire lecture about them.

Why must I keep reading your comments after "Urban dictionary".. >.< If you want something to look up.. Then look up "tub girl"...

Hammer940 7
beej821410 6

I think I'll pass #31. I've already found the blue waffle, it still gives me nightmares. My 12yr old nephew, showed it to his mom. She was not enthused.

CheeseTron 15

Lets not forget about the strawberry shortcake, mississippi jack-hammer, and alaskan pipeline.

perdix 29

#41, I know the first and the third and I only WISH I could forget. I'm ignorant of the second one and plan to stay that way.

Yeah he might give you the Mississippi meat hook, or the Alaskan Fire Dragon. Both sound very unpleasant.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Angry Dragons aren't really that gross, but it was still great that in high school, one of our sports teams named themselves the Angry Dragons, and none of the faculty seemed to get it. Or they just didn't care.

Oh, Christ. Why, Perdix, why? You just HAD to mention the Alabama Hot Pocket. I thought I had successfully repressed the memory of reading that one on Urban Dictionary.

Dirty homeless man, it's not even close to what it sounds like

My question is, who the hell decides to try these things?

SnoochBoochie 14

I heard Russia is into space docking this week. America should be in that craze in April if I am not mistaken.

SighGuy89 5

Not much of a Cunning Linguist, are you?

mvc3ftw 17

No,but i bet he is a master debator ( badum-tss )

perdix 29

If he asks you for Fellatio, you don't need to get all dressed up for a night at the opera. The lipstick and high heels are all you need. Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm curious why one would need high heels for that... The guy must be a real ******** if that's the case.

unknown_user5566 26

51- High heels aren't a "must have", but they are sexy. Why not throw on a pair for his viewing pleasure before getting down to business?

perdix 29

#57, I don't know why either. In the "training videos," considering where the girl ends up, the high heels seem rather pointless, but they are oddly sexy in a way, too.

You where being flirted with. Enjoy it, Grats :).

Be careful if he tells you he wants to give you a pearl necklace...