By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 17:49 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 660
You deserved it 6 113

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Top comments

This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.

gunmania0 12

That was a good hard metaphor.

Comments

if the dog was very old/in pain you did the right thing OP

futtbuck101 1

Rape is a serious crime. Don't be afraid to tell someone.

Definitely loving OP's way of describing the irony.

that wasn't the only hard shaft going up your ass that day, was it?

It's kinda like rapists who feel the cold, hard shaft of irony up the ass in prison. Metaphorically speaking of course.

lilmisslovely13 15

This is very poetic. I was a little surprised, but pleased :)

Damn those raping shafts of irony!! Hahaha

Did you go take a scalding hot shower afterwards to wash away the shame of this visit to the vet that you were apparently raped at?

I know how it feels to have your pet put asleep...its sad :'( you know what makes me feel better, hanging around with people you love!

The Sorting Hat is the nicest hat of all. It somehow finds something nice to say about Slytherin.

Winnerz4life 0

lm

If I had stoped reading at "cold hard shaft of irony slid up my ass" I still would have laughfed like helk but the ending really didit for me (thats what she said) But seriously OP sorry about your dog

ChucklesTheClown 4

There's a national dog day? Why?

Because dogs are awesome^

@9 You don't kill living creatures because they're old...

captn_fml 0

Fucking win.

abbey321 8

My cat shadow died on my lap. I miss him so much! He wasn't in pain but he was old he died healthy and in my arms. ;(

lancer3044 0

:/

snowdrift 6

Ahah what a metaphor....:// sorry about yo dawgi op

This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.

Hahaha I know right

Hahaha I know right

Laurenlou 24

OP must have a ton of great analogies like this!

gunmania0 12

15 - analogy is such a dirty word, and it correctly matches the FML... You get a +1.

Laurenlou 24

24- Analogy is not a dirty word. But thanks!

30, ANALogy is what I think they were getting at.

Ow. I could feel it. So cold... So cold...

Laurenlou 24

39- Oh I see that now! Sorry I don't keep my mind in the gutter. Haha

KiddNYC1O 20

45- You should. It's this new trend...

'twas beautifully composed

If OP managed to write like this in 200 characters or less, I'd love to have a conversation with him/her in real life.

This reminds me of the FML about Satan's ass gas. Wonderful descriptions, eh?

It's like I was actually there.

mgon93 0

Very true

itouchuser77 8

Poetry my good man

this gives a whole new meaning to f your life

jdawg2010 0

i know right!

geoffnel10 0

sucks if it's a guy...

I am so turned on by this

HelloHolaBonjour_fml 11

1,000 likes thanks to me

FunnyGuy5051 7

sorry to hear that op, I never knew there was a national dog day tho

ugottaluvme 0

Ahh, your a funny guy ehh?

There is a national day for everything.

gunmania0 12

That was a good hard metaphor.

cre8or99 0

That's ruff

that, my friend, was so bad I giggled

gunmania0 12

I see what you did there! For those that don't get it, dogs go 'ruff'.

Aha that's smart

gunmania0 12

Are you not going to thank me for point that out 17? :(

Lol "ruff" dog!! Haha

KiddNYC1O 20

13- OMFG! How in the hell did you figure that out, champ?

gunmania0 12

62 - are you a dick in real life or just whilst behind your computer in your mums basement?

KiddNYC1O 20

81- Thanks for playing, kid.

KiddNYC1O 20

I may have insulted you but make no mistake about it, I'm sure you insulted everyone on FML with comment #13.

gunmania0 12

90 - Did you read 60's comment...?

gunmania0 12

93*

KiddNYC1O 20

Okay, don't take it personal. I saw your comment first.

I_Hate_Tpyos 0

13- he may be on his iPod instead of a computer.

ugottaluvme 0

Lol 17 in gonba text you k?

The guy just lost his dog man. Really?

sariannacanna 6

I almost cried at the crude beauty of your metaphor *claps* bravo my friend, bravo. Sorry about your dog.

Do you mean "cruel" beauty? 'cause I don't think the beauty was crude at all.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

You win the game.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Not the time -_-

ripjohnlennon 5

Asian power!!!!!

Irony - possessing the quality of ironness, made of iron.