By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 17:49 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 719
You deserved it 6 140
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Top comments

irollup 4

This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.

1073 16
gunmania0 12

That was a good hard metaphor.

285 4

Comments

TipsfromSips 3

if the dog was very old/in pain you did the right thing OP

56 3
futtbuck101 1

Rape is a serious crime. Don't be afraid to tell someone.

234 9
genesisnirvana 11

Definitely loving OP's way of describing the irony.

152 5
fanceh 10

that wasn't the only hard shaft going up your ass that day, was it?

18 88
ripgeorgecarl1n 7

It's kinda like rapists who feel the cold, hard shaft of irony up the ass in prison. Metaphorically speaking of course.

85 2
lilmisslovely13 15

This is very poetic. I was a little surprised, but pleased :)

38 4
emmaa3451 11

Damn those raping shafts of irony!! Hahaha

37 2
FFPulley 9

Did you go take a scalding hot shower afterwards to wash away the shame of this visit to the vet that you were apparently raped at?

7 27
nadyy14 8

I know how it feels to have your pet put asleep...its sad :'( you know what makes me feel better, hanging around with people you love!

16 4
sciencekidster1 8

The Sorting Hat is the nicest hat of all. It somehow finds something nice to say about Slytherin.

46 3
Iheartfunny 1

If I had stoped reading at "cold hard shaft of irony slid up my ass" I still would have laughfed like helk but the ending really didit for me (thats what she said) But seriously OP sorry about your dog

10 8
ChucklesTheClown 4

There's a national dog day? Why?

4 20
Friaza 29

@9 You don't kill living creatures because they're old...

5 16
abbey321 8

My cat shadow died on my lap. I miss him so much! He wasn't in pain but he was old he died healthy and in my arms. ;(

8 0
snowdrift 6

Ahah what a metaphor....:// sorry about yo dawgi op

4 11
irollup 4

This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.

1073 16
Laurenlou 24

OP must have a ton of great analogies like this!

107 2
gunmania0 12

15 - analogy is such a dirty word, and it correctly matches the FML... You get a +1.

119 1
Laurenlou 24

24- Analogy is not a dirty word. But thanks!

mazochyst 10

30, ANALogy is what I think they were getting at.

93 1
ollierobs 0

Ow. I could feel it. So cold... So cold...

31 6
Laurenlou 24

39- Oh I see that now! Sorry I don't keep my mind in the gutter. Haha

80 9
KiddNYC1O 20

45- You should. It's this new trend...

101 2
tj4234 35

If OP managed to write like this in 200 characters or less, I'd love to have a conversation with him/her in real life.

77 2
ihasbrains 10

This reminds me of the FML about Satan's ass gas. Wonderful descriptions, eh?

56 0
itouchuser77 8

Poetry my good man

5 3
aftertheriot 0

this gives a whole new meaning to f your life

11 0
geoffnel10 0

sucks if it's a guy...

3 2
HelloHolaBonjour_fml 11

1,000 likes thanks to me

0 0
FunnyGuy5051 7

sorry to hear that op, I never knew there was a national dog day tho

73 2
ugottaluvme 0

Ahh, your a funny guy ehh?

4 2
xNephilim 18

There is a national day for everything.

0 0
gunmania0 12

I see what you did there! For those that don't get it, dogs go 'ruff'.

9 55
gunmania0 12

Are you not going to thank me for point that out 17? :(

5 38
KiddNYC1O 20

13- OMFG! How in the hell did you figure that out, champ?

39 1
gunmania0 12

62 - are you a dick in real life or just whilst behind your computer in your mums basement?

8 33
KiddNYC1O 20

81- Thanks for playing, kid.

25 2
KiddNYC1O 20

I may have insulted you but make no mistake about it, I'm sure you insulted everyone on FML with comment #13.

20 1
gunmania0 12

90 - Did you read 60's comment...?

3 17
KiddNYC1O 20

Okay, don't take it personal. I saw your comment first.

14 3
I_Hate_Tpyos 0

13- he may be on his iPod instead of a computer.

7 1
ugottaluvme 0

Lol 17 in gonba text you k?

0 0
sariannacanna 6

I almost cried at the crude beauty of your metaphor *claps* bravo my friend, bravo. Sorry about your dog.

122 7
False_Stupidity 41

Do you mean "cruel" beauty? 'cause I don't think the beauty was crude at all.

12 0
Btreasure 8

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
11 79
wilsontws 18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
5 51
ripjohnlennon 5

Asian power!!!!!

0 0
HomeAl0ne 20

Irony - possessing the quality of ironness, made of iron.

3 0