Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
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By
irollup
| 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
By
gunmania0
| 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
COMMENTS
By
dancefan0220
| 0
Hats sad D:
Reply
TipsfromSips
| 3
if the dog was very old/in pain you did the right thing OP
Reply
futtbuck101
| 1
Rape is a serious crime. Don't be afraid to tell someone.
Reply
genesisnirvana
| 11
Definitely loving OP's way of describing the irony.
Reply
fanceh
| 10
that wasn't the only hard shaft going up your ass that day, was it?
Reply
ripgeorgecarl1n
| 7
It's kinda like rapists who feel the cold, hard shaft of irony up the ass in prison. Metaphorically speaking of course.
Reply
lilmisslovely13
| 15
This is very poetic. I was a little surprised, but pleased :)
Reply
emmaa3451
| 11
Damn those raping shafts of irony!! Hahaha
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FFPulley
| 9
Did you go take a scalding hot shower afterwards to wash away the shame of this visit to the vet that you were apparently raped at?
Reply
nadyy14
| 8
I know how it feels to have your pet put asleep...its sad :'( you know what makes me feel better, hanging around with people you love!
Reply
sciencekidster1
| 8
The Sorting Hat is the nicest hat of all. It somehow finds something nice to say about Slytherin.
Reply
xcarxcrashx
| 9
176 LMAO!!!
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Winnerz4life
| 0
lm
Reply
Iheartfunny
| 1
If I had stoped reading at "cold hard shaft of irony slid up my ass" I still would have laughfed like helk but the ending really didit for me (thats what she said) But seriously OP sorry about your dog
Reply
ChucklesTheClown
| 4
There's a national dog day? Why?
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JoHire
| 0
Because dogs are awesome^
Reply
Friaza
| 29
@9 You don't kill living creatures because they're old...
Reply
captn_fml
| 0
Fucking win.
Reply
abbey321
| 8
My cat shadow died on my lap. I miss him so much! He wasn't in pain but he was old he died healthy and in my arms. ;(
By
lancer3044
| 0
:/
Reply
snowdrift
| 6
Ahah what a metaphor....:// sorry about yo dawgi op
By
irollup
| 4
This was wonderfully written. I've never read an FML so descriptive.
Reply
sovietkiwi
| 0
Hahaha I know right
Reply
sovietkiwi
| 0
Hahaha I know right
Reply
Laurenlou
| 24
OP must have a ton of great analogies like this!
Reply
gunmania0
| 12
15 - analogy is such a dirty word, and it correctly matches the FML... You get a +1.
Reply
Laurenlou
| 24
24- Analogy is not a dirty word. But thanks!
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mazochyst
| 10
30, ANALogy is what I think they were getting at.
Reply
ollierobs
| 0
Ow. I could feel it. So cold... So cold...
Reply
Laurenlou
| 24
39- Oh I see that now!
Sorry I don't keep my mind in the gutter. Haha
Sorry I don't keep my mind in the gutter. Haha
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
45- You should. It's this new trend...
Reply
rawrface22
| 10
'twas beautifully composed
Reply
tj4234
| 35
If OP managed to write like this in 200 characters or less, I'd love to have a conversation with him/her in real life.
Reply
ihasbrains
| 10
This reminds me of the FML about Satan's ass gas. Wonderful descriptions, eh?
Reply
xX_LilSammie_Xx
| 4
It's like I was actually there.
Reply
mgon93
| 0
Very true
Reply
itouchuser77
| 8
Poetry my good man
Reply
aftertheriot
| 0
this gives a whole new meaning to f your life
Reply
jdawg2010
| 0
i know right!
Reply
geoffnel10
| 0
sucks if it's a guy...
Reply
FML102938
| 8
I am so turned on by this
Reply
HelloHolaBonjour_fml
| 11
1,000 likes thanks to me
By
FunnyGuy5051
| 7
sorry to hear that op, I never knew there was a national dog day tho
Reply
ugottaluvme
| 0
Ahh, your a funny guy ehh?
Reply
xNephilim
| 18
There is a national day for everything.
By
gunmania0
| 12
That was a good hard metaphor.
Reply
Midnightpearls
| 13
Oh god lmao
By
cre8or99
| 0
That's ruff
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santasadiekins
| 0
that, my friend, was so bad I giggled
Reply
gunmania0
| 12
I see what you did there! For those that don't get it, dogs go 'ruff'.
Reply
minnymouse20
| 13
Aha that's smart
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gunmania0
| 12
Are you not going to thank me for point that out 17? :(
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AdriTheCutie
| 0
Lol "ruff" dog!! Haha
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KiddNYC1O
| 20
13- OMFG! How in the hell did you figure that out, champ?
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gunmania0
| 12
62 - are you a dick in real life or just whilst behind your computer in your mums basement?
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
81- Thanks for playing, kid.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
I may have insulted you but make no mistake about it, I'm sure you insulted everyone on FML with comment #13.
Reply
gunmania0
| 12
90 - Did you read 60's comment...?
Reply
gunmania0
| 12
93*
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Okay, don't take it personal. I saw your comment first.
Reply
I_Hate_Tpyos
| 0
13- he may be on his iPod instead of a computer.
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ugottaluvme
| 0
Lol 17 in gonba text you k?
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ichikibobivopula
| 0
Oh I get it now.
Reply
The guy just lost his dog man.
Really?
Really?
By
sariannacanna
| 6
I almost cried at the crude beauty of your metaphor *claps* bravo my friend, bravo. Sorry about your dog.
Reply
False_Stupidity
| 41
Do you mean "cruel" beauty? 'cause I don't think the beauty was crude at all.
By
Btreasure
| 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
By
aichd13
| 4
You win the game.
Reply
ironwords
| 8
I lost it
By
wilsontws
| 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
Reply
lidsthesquid
| 4
Not the time -_-
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ripjohnlennon
| 5
Asian power!!!!!
Reply
HomeAl0ne
| 20
Irony - possessing the quality of ironness, made of iron.