Buy a new dad

If that were possible, most of us would have new parents. I've been collecting money all my life and I still don't have enough to afford a new father to help me through my early life while mine was busy with other interests. I stopped trying years ago and now I spend my money on toys!! Maybe OP can find his way like I did. Best of luck to you.

1, you are being absolutely ridiculous, what are you talking about "buying a dad", like that will happen with this economy.

OP is still in high school, so she's not even old enough to live independently and get out from this situation.

The Whitest Kids You Know - Get a new daddy. I mean haven't you guys heard of the song?

"Take naked pictures of yourself and hide 'em in his sock drawer and you can Get a New Daddy. Get a New Daddy." Classic.
That's one of their funniest songs, 74, but I think "Getting High With Dinosaurs" was a bit more popular.

#77 - I like Old folks home better haha

77 - Good song. But there's easier ways to get a new daddy. Like telling your mom he beat you and pawned your new xbox for beer money.

What an ass

It was 5 o'clock somewhere.

I hope for you that you aren't living in a situation where it will be you paying for those damages OP. FYL

If I was OP I would refuse to pay the damages regardless, but that's just me.

I would too, but there are people who are more tolerant than I am or too kind, and get used, and I hope that isn't the case.

Guess he hit the milk bottle again.

He wasn't ready for the 2%.

What a pussy, I drink whole;)

I don't want to sound like a bad ass or anything, but when no one is looking I drink right out of the milk jug.

rkmn8r is cool like dat

Stop suggesting illegal things, guys! If my parents caught me drinking full-fat...

Have you heard of goat milk? That shit is crazy.

I sometimes grate down some cheddar cheese, then snort it. its a problem...I know

think that's bad try silk milk. you will never be the same.

I drink milk straight from the bag.
Yes, I hail from the Great North.

just hope he wont expect you to pay for the damages.

that sucks. make him pay it

Actually you're not

Not even close.
How slow must you be to arrive on the FML with zero comments, and take so long to think of some shitty comment, choose "first" as your comment, that you subsequently come 6th?

EDIT: AHA, she wrote "first" then changed it to this. You're not fooling us.

Im assuming she changed her comment

If you are in a car that can travel at 30 miles per hour, and your destination is 10 minutes away, then the most humilating part is:

A) Your dad is attending a baby shower
B) He's wasting money sending you to ACT Prep classes
C) He can't hold his liquor
D) 5 miles
E) All of the above.

This is to make up for the 10 minutes of class you missed and this one will be on the actual test. For the answer, you'll have to sign up for perdix' ACT Prep Class.

He only was there for the first 10 minutes. Assuming the class was two hours long, how much time (in minutes) did he miss?

A) 10
B) 50
C) 100
D) 110

Hint: not 10 minutes

Well, I picked A and B for the last question, so for this one I will pick C and D, to cover most of the bases.
Isn't that how we do multiple choice questions?

Uh..duh..too hard, brain shut-down activate.
Where do I sign up? Shut up and take my money!

I'm not from The United States, is this test very arduous?

#29, well, the Math section is pretty straightforward, but the Obstacle Course is murder! Crossing that rickety rope bridge over the pit of snakes was super-hard.

Goddamnit why do I love you so much.

Where is the sign-up sheet?

#31- A maths exam requires great exertion on my part. I'd rather take the obstacle course.

I would find the most embarrassing part of that is that your car can only go 30 miles per hour, even a smart car could beat that! Baby shower partiers don't really disturb me...

Whew. At least it was a prep class and not the actual thing.

Thats an awkward situation, but congrats to the expecting couple!

Well at least you don't have to pay for the damages.