Work, Money and School: Today, I found out that I have to take a weekly workshop outside...

By Grad Student - 13/01/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that I have to take a weekly workshop outside of class time all semester, and it's only offered on the day I have the most work hours. I barely make ends meet as it is, but the professor said to figure it out or fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 788

You deserved it 314

Work Money School

Stop talking!

Late term

Live, laugh, love no one

By ihatebeingacashier - 11/07/2016 21:06

Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 180

You deserved it 723

Unfit

By naagodinho - 09/01/2012 14:56 - Portugal

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 844

You deserved it 4 747

By Char - 09/09/2012 17:02 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 4 032

By Bonding_boys - 17/12/2012 16:21 - United States - Elk River

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 6 259

By wetqueefa - 03/02/2013 09:58 - United States - Union City

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 3 162

By phonebaby - 18/11/2014 01:04 - United States - Stamford

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 7 609

By Lex - 12/05/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 409

You deserved it 3 506

Issues

By Anonymous - 04/06/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up from a vivid dream in which I murdered my entire family. It took 20 minutes after waking up, drenched in sweat and tears, to realize I'm not a murderer and my life is OK. This dream is recurring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 16:50 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 653

You deserved it 5 504

Alone

By LonelyStranger - 02/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, I was really excited to go to a party because I need to make more friends. Too bad a snowstorm hit right before I was going to leave, now I'm alone with no power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 204

By jabba - 05/10/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 659

You deserved it 34 728

Infrastructure bill

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 02:00

Today, I ran over a pothole that was so small it barely qualified as a hole, more like a dent than a hole, but somehow it was still enough to completely crack the rim of my tyre and made me 3 hours late to work. I get paid by the hour, so this will hurt by paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 85

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 234

You deserved it 5 148

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 002

You deserved it 15 386

By JustSom - 05/05/2015 02:03 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 374

You deserved it 3 077

The System

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 67

By ewewew - 24/09/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 351

You deserved it 4 780

By Anonymous - 05/01/2018 19:00

Today, I got my period during my dance solo. My costume was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 501

You deserved it 399

By whyymee - 05/03/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 841

You deserved it 3 328

By Single - 04/12/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 982

You deserved it 2 936

By honey soy - 29/01/2012 06:31 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 883

You deserved it 3 497

Cheats, cheats everwhere

By bbbblt - 15/08/2010 11:39 - Australia

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 777

You deserved it 3 820

By b3ardown23 - 07/09/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 2 818

Send nudes

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 17:01 - Panama - Cuba

Today, my boyfriend said he regrets loving or even meeting me because of the distance between us, and because I won't send nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 193

You deserved it 11 726

By nick - 24/12/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 2 986

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 547

You deserved it 11 233

By Vermont? - 22/02/2017 05:00 - United States

Today, in my AP U.S. history class, we had a very long, very slow discussion about whether or not Vermont is a state. I think I lost brain cells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 298

You deserved it 407

By kookoocatlady - 01/11/2016 04:31

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 802

You deserved it 1 576

Weirdo cousin

By notyourbaby - 07/03/2021 19:58

Today, I found out my cousin stole my used pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures the last time she came to visit, and tried to fake a pregnancy. This was two years ago when she stayed at my house. I just found out I'm pregnant again, and guess who just asked to come to stay and "visit"? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 66

By kylie b - 25/05/2011 06:41

Today, my mom yelled at me for taking too long at a job interview, and that it was a waste of her time to drive me to it; I just quit my job, moved away from my boyfriend and the coast to help take care of her in Idaho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 4 378

By baddormgirl - 19/02/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 312

You deserved it 47 644

By jaydiv - 22/11/2009 09:15 - Australia

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 558

You deserved it 36 345

By nosebleeder - 13/02/2013 20:31 - Sweden

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 8 752

By GrLifeusx - 08/03/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 872

You deserved it 58 345

By Anonymous - 14/08/2010 16:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the foundation I've been using for the past month isn't normal foundation, its skin darkening foundation. I look like an oompa loompa from the neck up. It won't go away for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 830

You deserved it 35 733

This woman's work

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 17:02 - Germany - Aachen

Today, I looked at pictures of myself from 20 years ago when I was a teenager and realized I have only about a quarter of my hair left. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 81

How close is too close?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 17:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I found out just how close my mom and fiancé are. No, they aren’t sleeping together, but she has been covering for him while he has sex with other women behind my back. Her excuse? He deserves to be happy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 109

By oh - 23/02/2016 02:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 460

You deserved it 2 079

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Top comments

manb91uk 22

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Saturday 13 January 2018 16:09

I’d speak to your employer... Graduate school is vastly more advanced and is expected to take priority

neuronerd 28

Saturday 13 January 2018 17:32

As much as it's not reasonable for many students, outside employment during grad school is discouraged. Many programs offer stipends for either being a TA or graduate researcher, but, as someone who's had to live off of one, I understand how hard that is to live off of (there were some weeks I was living off of canned tuna).

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 13 January 2018 15:31

In grad school, there’s no such thing as “outside of class hours.” You’re supposed to eat, sleep and breathe your subject. That’s what makes an advanced degree special.

exileonmainst 16

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Saturday 13 January 2018 15:47

And then you move in with your subject, get married and eventually have children with it. Fast forward about 20 years and the children have moved out and you’re left alone with your subject, but things aren’t what they used to be anymore. In spite of that you stick with your subject because you’re too old to change now. Even further down the line you’re just left with feelings of what could’ve been...

hbhjb 4

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Saturday 13 January 2018 15:51

PhoenixChick 26

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Saturday 13 January 2018 16:51

Moving in and marriage = doctoral program and Phd Children = the little pitter-patter of your own TAs Left alone with your subject = you are now a department head

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 13 January 2018 20:01

Your analogy is pretty funny, but it’s not quite accurate. I can dip into as many other subjects as I like with my main subject getting all pissy and demanding half of my shit. I can also arrange threesomes where I get my main subject with new ones and see what happens.

PhoenixChick 26

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Saturday 13 January 2018 21:59

That just means your main subject is in the *liberal* arts

RichardPencil 30

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Sunday 14 January 2018 5:50

No, I’m in the *hard* sciences — a *discipline* that requires a lot of *experimentation* ;) ;) ;)

manb91uk 22

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Saturday 13 January 2018 16:09

I’d speak to your employer... Graduate school is vastly more advanced and is expected to take priority

tarabella 7

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Saturday 13 January 2018 16:14

ouch i'm sorry :( getting a decent education is getting harder and harder these days. i fear soon it'll be a luxury for rich people only

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 13 January 2018 16:24

That’s how America is going to become great again! If we reserve opportunity for the elite only, there’s no chance that dirty underclass people can break into their ranks. Is this the America you want to live in?

thehaystackerine 20

Saturday 13 January 2018 16:52

everyone told me I was stupid, but I paid $5,000 for a 4 week training course, got my commercial driver's license. made my $5,000 back in my first month on the job.

Yudith 20

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Saturday 13 January 2018 18:04

And how do you expect OP to find the time and money to do that on top of his studies, workshop and job? Giving up sleep?

neuronerd 28

Saturday 13 January 2018 17:32

eagleriverjohn 24

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Sunday 14 January 2018 6:38

One of my fellow TAs drives home every weekend (over 100 miles) to work as a delivery driver for a family member's pizzeria. She said she probably wouldn't make ends meet otherwise.

Abdul Mughais Khan 6

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Saturday 13 January 2018 20:18

lol

sarsuela 27

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Saturday 13 January 2018 23:17

If you have to spend all your time at school you can save money by giving up your apartment.

worldclassrager 39

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Sunday 14 January 2018 6:41

I had a six hour class three in lab and three out of lab...I just changed my work availability for no mornings to work on my in lab quicker...and get back to the way things were..shuffle your hours...see what can be fixed...