Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk... - FML

By not as easy as pie - 16/10/2015 16:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 226

You deserved it 21 362

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Same thing different taste

By fatty magoo - 29/07/2014 18:20 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 300

You deserved it 15 981

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 496

You deserved it 7 185

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 614

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 149

You deserved it 53 594

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 298

By Kimmiko - 04/06/2009 12:17 - Germany

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 199

You deserved it 7 167

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 45 702

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 31 002

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 50 300

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 461

You deserved it 3 235

Next

Top comments

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

Comments

runninggirl8 16

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

what flavor was the pie?

CosmicElk 26

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:01

pie flavour!

LilMissCanadian 22

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:30

I don't know if that was an asdf video reference or not.

redhead_sprhro 10

Saturday 17 October 2015 7:24

I assumed it was one of those apple pies from McDonald's

paravoz 30

Saturday 17 October 2015 8:07

it was a creampie

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

SomeoneSaveSammy 11

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:36

Aw you beat me too it! hah

thatonlinedude 5

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:21

and DO NOT forget the pie this time Sammy!

mariri9206 32

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:51

my thoughts exactly!

skye_tbfh 18

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:41

oh my god yes

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:35

*Sam walks in* *still no pie*

jocamo 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 20:22

Damnit! you beat me to it too!

falloutboytrash 10

Monday 19 October 2015 7:12

*cries*

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

SystemofaBlink41 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:54

Have you ever eaten pie? Then you know what the answer is.

itsalanis 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:59

Cake is better.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:00

True, but pie is still great.

GeorgiaBea 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:24

Pie never waits. It's pie.

vikky538 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:27

How can it be! Its a cream pie!

davincidasecond 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:35

Stop blaspheming, 14. Stop it.

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:37

Pie is far beyond cake its in a whole nother league!

jaspinkgrl01 18

Saturday 17 October 2015 18:00

How can one wait two eat what they love

Catdragon 40

Saturday 17 October 2015 21:44

the cake is a lie, but not the pie.

spicebread 4

Sunday 18 October 2015 1:06

I love eating while driving to be honest. And i'm from a country where we use gears.

SecundusSecunda 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Did you offer the officer some? Reckless little OP?

juicy_extasy 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:38

Hopefully the pie was worth the possible trouble it got you into

Mossyoak_kw 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:56

It's pie, of course it was worth it!!

dansco 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:38

You are an idiot! So eating a pie is more important than safe driving. Genius.

quickit 24

Saturday 17 October 2015 3:05

Let me spell out a word for you, s-a-r-c-a-s-m. Once you learn it I'm sure you'll understand the comment section much better! :)

Thatissarcastic 17

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:46

In reality it's called facetious ;-; rip sarcasm nobody knows what you really are. Not that the comment was either of the two.

jake131000 21

Sunday 18 October 2015 7:39

I can actually relate to your comment as it is something that i would also post. But understand that acting like an asshole will not get you likes. Fun fact of the day: the capital of Somalia is mogadishu

YumeWolf 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:39

Was the pie good, though?

deftones_fml 19

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:41

Any type of pie can't wait

brycemash 9

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:42

No

brycemash 9

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:43

Must have been some of mama's blueberry pie.

heftysmash253 6

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:51

Did you give him/her a pie-ce of your mind?

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:39

Ok man so the word has to atleast sound right... cant just be the spelling.. So do better next time..

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You deserved it 83

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The Top

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Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 77

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I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 307

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I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 77

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I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 97

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I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 516