Love: Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page....

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 705

You deserved it 3 457

Love

Halitosis

Put your back into it

I blame the parents

Prejudice

By howard1954 - 08/06/2015 15:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They simply reacted by lecturing me about how much he'll ruin my life, and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 658

You deserved it 2 671

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 045

You deserved it 1 463

By Skatedump - 14/04/2019 14:00 - South Africa

Today, on the one-year anniversary of my best friend committing suicide, my boyfriend of 2 years decides to dump me because he wants to focus on his skateboarding career. He doesn't even know how to skateboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 278

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 21:32 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 681

You deserved it 25 309

Ouch

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 06:08 - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 817

You deserved it 36 967

By badnewsbears - 21/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 949

You deserved it 4 394

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 169

By crushed - 30/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 238

You deserved it 7 004

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 2 151

Squirt

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 353

You deserved it 2 968

By anonymous - 16/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 9 220

By Anonymous - 06/02/2014 23:07 - United States - San Ramon

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 306

You deserved it 4 197

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 149

You deserved it 13 663

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 270

You deserved it 27 650

Burglary [gone sexual]

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 108

You deserved it 11 817

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 36 853

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 549

You deserved it 2 776

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 645

You deserved it 37 537

By Abrams52 - 28/05/2013 05:44 - United States - Fishers

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 570

You deserved it 35 759

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 09:07 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 366

You deserved it 3 610

By fckdsamaritan - 16/12/2010 19:35 - Tunisia

Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 301

You deserved it 4 322

By Holls - 12/04/2012 13:47 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 783

You deserved it 14 125

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 895

You deserved it 34 410

By nolinguist - 22/11/2009 17:39 - Austria

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 250

You deserved it 18 738

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 16:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 372

You deserved it 13 137

By Celina - 11/01/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 499

You deserved it 40 556

Backwards

By bad sis - 23/09/2019 05:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, my family got very upset with me when I advised my brother’s girlfriend to take the kids and leave. They’re more upset with me telling her that, than the fact that my brother is an abusive serial cheater and a raging alcoholic, who hits her and the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 14:00

Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 946

You deserved it 182

By argument invalid? - 27/02/2019 16:00

Today, I got written up and may be placed under suspension due to my recent 5 consecutive day unscheduled absence. When I told them I was on a Bereavement Leave, they still will not accept my excuse because its still considered as "unscheduled". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 178

By RatFailure - 11/01/2012 05:23 - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 433

You deserved it 3 728

By rukus - 16/06/2009 03:25 - Canada

Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 413

You deserved it 4 903

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 400

You deserved it 3 720

By elfy2 - 03/03/2011 02:49

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 078

You deserved it 3 416

By Shelly - 30/10/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 059

You deserved it 12 554

These people never learn

By My mother-in-law is a Covidiot - 20/04/2021 20:00

Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 684

You deserved it 4 852

By chloeleigholivia - 10/01/2016 19:55 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 259

You deserved it 5 065

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 6 674

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:43 - United States

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 3 561

By blinded - 11/02/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 147

You deserved it 26 758

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Top comments

AliMarie 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:03

That sucks. I don't even know what I would do in that situation. My boyfriend's mom hates me. . wont even look at me when I walk in a room (for no reason at all). At least now you know she's two faced.

Capn 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:05

Its one of those mothers that will always be an issue. Don't let it get in the way of what matters to you and your fiance. She's too stupid to realize that she's done mothering and needs to let him go.

AliMarie 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:03

killerviral 0

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Sunday 7 February 2010 7:21

she's just juelous that she can't have incest with him

evanking 0

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Wednesday 28 July 2010 15:56

hahaha thats great

ghettob 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:03

hahaha

moomoo88 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:03

duuuuuude what a bitch!!!

Capn 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:05

Victoria_fml 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:06

Maybe your fiancé has an engaged brother... =) Well, trust your guts, if you think you get along with your mother in law to be... Maybe she wasn't talking about you at all.

ilovefatcats 12

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Wednesday 28 April 2010 0:10

:o thas nasty!!! :@ blarrrrfffffffff

ilovefatcats 12

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Wednesday 28 April 2010 0:15

o i commented on rhe wrong FML. the 1 I wanted to comment on was about a lady touching a still twiching rats head in her kittys mouth

Darkon 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:06

Lesson learned on in-laws they are to be rarely trusted/liked.

yer_maw 1

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:07

she sounds delightful :)

baysidebird88 0

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Thursday 4 June 2009 20:09

that sucks so much darlin. Don't worry you'll have your revenge when you say "I do." You don't have to get a long with the mother in law, just your hubby.