Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
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Top comments
kickblocker 18
Who needs tampons? Just go with the flow
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Who needs tampons, bottles work fine too. Well I hope they do...
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Comments (152)
leadman1989 16
Save money buy used tampons or better yet use leaves... I don't know in a guy give me a break.
leadman1989 16
Me - Op you're bleeding Op - I aint got time to bleed (too busy drinking) XD
chronick89 5
Only in the US of A
loserman67 36
Number one - wad up some toilet tissue and *gently* insert it into your hey-nanny-nanny. Number two - drink a shit load of SoCo & Coke to forget that you have *gently* inserted wadded up toilet tissue into your Hey-Nanny-Nanny.
oops_im_fucked 8
YDI for not spending it on grey goose.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Get some help
saturnsonic 3
your my kind of woman ;-)
PoisonPixieDust 5
Thanks :)
divadro102 16
How cheap were these southern comforts if you were down to your last dollar bills?
mommasgrl20028 5
No one deserves to be an alcoholic. There's a huge misconception that incidences like these are the person's choice. Trust me. I've been there...I need to stop posting serious, intelligent comments on here...too many ignoramuses...
darkmis1 18
SoCo is horrible! It made me have a seizure and have to go to the hospital once. You do have a problem. Call AA. NOW!
mmmeow 0
Lmao!