Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
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Top comments
kickblocker 18
Who needs tampons? Just go with the flow
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Who needs tampons, bottles work fine too. Well I hope they do...
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Comments (152)
TorontoChik 0
There's always the diva cup! :) it's Eco friendly! :D
onefinemess 11
oh that's just nasty. Diva cup is A.) Spillable, B.) A real toxic shock syndrome risk, and C.) Who knows if it will stay in right. Not to mention do you know she could have a big bottle and a small bottle of So Co if you include Diva Cup and shipping and handling? Pffft silly post indeed!
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
First step is admitting it...
sara_saturday 5
no it isn't.
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
Like other posters before me, I hope you remember this day when your liver has turned against you. Not to mention all the other problems being an alcoholic causes..
neongurl98 10
WTF
mndlssphnx 10
Use Cherokee hair instead.
onefinemess 11
Those too are tampons and she couldn't afford them remember? Great SP ref though!
TheComputerGuy96 16
You totally deserve it!!! **** alcoholic people!!!
ReynshineCutting 10
And the biggest idiot of the day award goes to...
suri23 11
Yep, that's an indicator.
epyk_pryncess 8
Toilet paper is cheaper... And so is generic alcohol.
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
And just look at the name of the alcohol : Southern "Comfort". Gee, if you needed "comfort" maybe save the money ?
candacemarie1596 3
you always come before your habits .