Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
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Top comments
kickblocker 18
Who needs tampons? Just go with the flow
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Who needs tampons, bottles work fine too. Well I hope they do...
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Comments (152)
vbmg152 19
I get you, I went to rehab in 1993! I used to sleep with a bottle of Southern Comfort! Get yourself some help, if I can do it, you can! Best wishes!
good41thing198 7
SoCo is garbage. Buy some decent booze, you bloody ****.
lockthedoor 0
Aww good for you being able to admit your problem! It means you're one step closer to recovery! :)
onefinemess 11
Wow you gave me the shivers. So you would rather bleed on your couch, your clothes, your bed, and anything else that may come in contact with your cooze than not buy liquor? You must be demented. You know how many bottles of booze that is going to cost to replace?
lifeisasillygame 2
sounds just like my step father!!!!.. but i cant get him to even admit he has a problem! soo good job and good luck!
san3 4
just use socks. no big deal.
pepperanne 0
id say u gt bloody drunk
drdingus 27
What you did there. I saw it
HiveMindFury 15
Good on you for admitting it =3
renlady_86 3
What!? Oh, you are in Arkansas...never mind.
Gagle 0
Drunky McGee!! ;)