Swabidizop
Greeley, United States
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Alarm
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
aaalias34
United States
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Wowsers.
United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
nullpointer
San Francisco, United States
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
nightmare ass
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Keyser Soze
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Anonymous
Bad boy
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
pikachu
United States
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
BadBreath
United States
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Noname
United States
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Top comments
hafyyyy 17
i guess he isnt sleeping when youre around anymore.
Cass_x 22
Aww poor dog. You woke him.
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Comments (57)
vikky538 29
After reading this FML i believe you have the monster fart
core01 30
Dogs love rancid. he probably thought you had died, and he was finally getting to fulfill his dream of a nice bit o' master to munch on.
nkrueg 7
That is called the ol roles reverse. payback is a bitch.
hmrhoades 18
That sounds hilarious. I only say this because my parents have 3 small dogs who always make me laugh. I can see one of them doing that. If we tease them, they'll run up, bite us and run to my mom to hide.....I'm sorry if it hurt ?
hmrhoades 18
That ? Was supposed to be a sad face
chef4money 12
My 2 dogs are brats too. They start shit and then run and cuddle someone else so that they seem like the innocent ones.
kristen5286 12
Maybe he thought you'd died and was checking to see if you were alive
Spankydamonkey 2
it could have been he thought you were dead and decided it was time to eat you.
chef4money 12
Damn dogs act like their shit doesn't stink. My yorkie will get up, growl at me and move across the bed giving me the evil eye the whole time. My doxi will start excitedly digging at the covers like he is trying to find the surprise that just suddenly appeared.
emokitty91 12
your dog is a spazz lol
chikinscratch00 8
lol. Clean up your diet
RealSuperSand 21
Next time your dog has an awful dog fart, do the same to him. You gotta be pack leader.