By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 735
You deserved it 1 949

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Did your cat think you were growling, or did your fart destroy his little cat nose, and he bit you in retaliation?

The cat might rip his schlong to shreds in retaliation.

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Haha I imagined the sound in my head with your cat growling back

Pee on him, show your dominance

The cat might rip his schlong to shreds in retaliation.

One time i got drunk and pee'd on my cat he saw my dick dangling and tried to claw it

#15 - I just saw you comment on another FML about you peeing during sex. Do you just pull out your schlong and take a piss all willy nilly wherever you go? Or do you have some weird idea that these comments are funny?

Did your cat think you were growling, or did your fart destroy his little cat nose, and he bit you in retaliation?

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Yes, because a cat would totally think that.

"Fuck man, this dude is shooting a bazooka at me. I know the best thing to do, bite him on the ass."

What else do you expect , with a Fart Guild type cat ?

Is your car part dog?

Well carts can be aggressive and smelly so your cat was saying." TAKE IT OUTSIDE!"

Meant farts auto correct hates me

It's okay, your phone just fused "cats" and "farts".

Just curious OP but is your username a reference to C++?

I'm sorry you earned accidental rage from your cat (and got bitten for it,) but this FML is one of he funniest things I've read in a long time.

Actually your contribution to the 1% of the atmosphere could fall into the category "Growler", thus the reason why you pissed off your cat and the little F -er bit your ass.