Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
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Comments (109)
Apparently 0
So, you have a purple cough.
jenn143c 0
you changed it!! congrats!!!
KMilliron 2
Happened to me in a crowded movie theater. Had to leave. Then my asshole brother told me how the movie ended.
goza27 0
Did you punch it?
541MedfazWcM 0
that suks :(
burntloyalty 4
Thankfully I didn't spew much and there were no customers at the time... just totally didn't think I could cough the violently
keese9413 0
lol sorry dude, maybe try holding in your coughs next timee(:
aardvarkish 17
Wow! That just gave me an idea for a new fetish!
keese9413 0
dude that's frickin gross...
relyo 0
Next time you feel the need to cough, go to the bathroom. Problem solved. Well, except for the whole "coughing so hard you puke" issue but that's better left to a doctor.
teamholcombe 0
Too much Charlie Sheen.