Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
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Comments (109)
Apparas 0
Seriously, I had the same thing.. in bed.. when my girlfriend was with me..
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have had that oral gang bang with those 47 migrant workers just prior to going to work. I hope you learned your lesson.
tona01 16
whats that on your picture doc?
sarapsosis 1
looks like a stabbing went down
Capt_Oblivious 10
Look on the bright side, it'll help you stay slim. How come no one can ever see the bright side of situations.
seximexi911 10
oh that's a shitty situation
justalilrandom2 4
Really? That only works with toilet/feces related posts.
tona01 16
ok that's a puky situation you see its difficult to make a good situation pun
MC18 0
well that sucks...Hahah I'm sure the people around you really appreciated that one...
burntloyalty 4
My coworkers just laughed heartily
yaya0330 0
lmassofff fyl better u then me... hahahaha
tarahl1 0
hey morons it says "violent" not violet!!
leearm104 4
OP obviously edited their post. try not to be so stupid when you call someone a moron.
justthinkaboutit 2
ewwww gross
daleftw 0
Whooping cough? it will make you cough until you puke, also you'll be starved of air causing the "whooping" sound.