Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
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Comments (109)
Calyx_fml 22
Stop swallowing so much sperm.
KatieeAdamss 17
Dude, I feel ya. Just been diagnosed with asthma and haven't got it under control yet so I've been coughing for the best part of a month. Sometimes I cough so hard I puke. It'll get better OP, just be patient. Until then, FYL! :)
luckycuntt 3
I've had coughing fits like that before too. Luckily it was only at home and usually in the morning
MBrabs1996 22
Better get that checked out! The other day at work I coughed so hard I vomited. Bronchitis. I have bronchitis.