Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
I think the real FML is that you guys apparently didn't do any foreplay
carleybeak 21
I think it might be time for him to learn some female anatomy...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
SomeRandomUser 19
What on earth's a nuvaring?
sailorarctic 22
a small silicone ring with hormones in it that is inserted into the vajayjay as a form of birth control.
creditless 14
well... Don't expect him to ever actually find it without lessons from you LOL
tiffs1021 14
Nuva ring is so bad for you! Change BC ASAP I had to have my appendix and gall bladder removed within 1 yr of going on it and drs said it was directly related
gzmotx 9
Everybody has different reactions to birth control. Some are better than others. We are all built differently, so while new forms of BC offer more in the way of choices, no good option will work for everyone.
DravensTheName 16
As someone who's trying get in a doctorate program to learn medicine and to help people please do not give medical advice. You were not trained nor have the knowledge to give people advice on what people should do with their bodies. What you are saying and doing is harmful. You might think you are helpful but maybe stick to going to the soup kitchen instead and leave medical stuff to actual doctors.
GeeThatSucks 9
I'm with #36, nuva rings cause all sorts of damage. Especially in things totally unrelated to the reproductive system. I heard polio spiked when the nuva ring was introduced too. And my doctor said it was directly related.
TelephoneChoir 10
The real FML is that people get their clits pierced. Would that not hurt really, really bad?
gracehi 33
The worst pain I've ever felt in my life but my understanding was that it improved the frequency of orgasms during intercourse. It hasn't for me, although it has made manual stimulation easier. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have problems getting off like I did.
dbt88 15
I have to be technical here. Very few people get their clits pierced because of the pain and potential danger involved. Clitoral hoods are what gets pierced, and that's just a thin tissue so it really isn't that bad (for most women anyway...obviously there's a few).
gracehi 33
^ Yes, that's true. It's actually my hood that's pierced, not my ********. I should have clarified that. I've heard that you actually lose sensation eventually with an actual clitoral piercing. But it was still extremely painful. I was actually surprised at how much it hurt. I thought it would be more like when I got my ears pierced, but it wasn't. The hood is extremely sensitive, even if it's not as sensitive as the ******** itself.
kirkaygri 18
My hood piercing didn't hurt a bit. It was less pain than an ear lobe piercing. The skin is so thin there is nothing to it and it's over in seconds. There was more bleeding than my ear lobes but it wasn't a lot and I assume it had to do with blood flow.
fordkiller220 4
i feel like that should have come up in conversation at some point... "do u want to have sex?" "of course!" "by the way my clit is pierced.." lucky he was excited abt it, some guys would have been very turned off.. private piercings are creepy..
mikbrooke 25
but it wasnt pierced.
punmessiah 28
did you even read the fml
Solano2580 24
For me that would be a bit of a turn off, but that's just my opinion.
NIGHTMARE3422 8
lmao at the fact that he thought your clit was in your ******. I didn't know what a nuvaring was but Google is my friend.
Death69 24
Alright. Yes. OP's boyfriend needs a female anatomy lesson for sure. But the comments on what's the BIG deal about a clit piercing? Guys and gals. NuvaRing is a form of contraception. It is inserted inside the ******. It is usually good for 3 weeks. Blah blah blah. Now you know. And OP? Good luck.
Fireant_man 6
Insay you have sex with him within 2 minutes of knowing him
Tannasgh 22
Wow...some men are so clueless...