By OP. - 29/8/2021 12:01 - Australia - Collaroy

Support system

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML
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By  RichardPencil  |  30

It's an old-fashioned therapy called Pissing You Off.

Instead of quiet and uninterested, you become loud and interested in kicking their asses. It doesn't work well, but it is cheap.

By  Chazzster  |  22

There is no one good answer to your situation.

(1) Don’t expect others to know what you are feeling just by observation. It’s better to tell someone about important feelings and moods. But start with someone who you know will react in a helpful way rather than just using the opportunity to make fun of you - Start with a parent or close friend that you have a good relationship with.

(2) Most untrained people simply do not know how to react to someone with depression. Sometimes people from earlier generations were conditioned to suppress depression as they considered it a weakness rather than a mental health issue and that’s how they react. And of course younger siblings just take their cues from their parents or older siblings reactions.

Rather than play to the entire house and expecting them to pick up on your feelings you really should have approached Mom or Dad and told them how you were feeling and that this was not a mood that was going to quickly pass. I understand that when you are feeling depressed that your thinking process is not at its best, but that’s what would have more likely gotten you help instead of being made fun of. The other approach would be to play it cool not showing your feelings and go to someone you trust for advice such as a counselor. Then they could advise you how to share this with your family. That’s not easy but it avoids being made fun of.

There are many kinds and varieties of feelings. Some are intense but pass quickly and some are longer lasting. Part of growing up is knowing how to deal with the feelings we have. Serious depression requires professional help and nothing else will touch it. At the same time, to the untrained and ignorant, depression in someone else makes them feel uncomfortable and they just want to not have to deal with it - Resulting in empty platitudes (like “cheer up”) or confusion at best, and outright hostility at worst.

I hope you are able to find help.

COMMENTS
By  RichardPencil  |  30

It's an old-fashioned therapy called Pissing You Off.

Instead of quiet and uninterested, you become loud and interested in kicking their asses. It doesn't work well, but it is cheap.

By  Chazzster  |  22

There is no one good answer to your situation.

(1) Don’t expect others to know what you are feeling just by observation. It’s better to tell someone about important feelings and moods. But start with someone who you know will react in a helpful way rather than just using the opportunity to make fun of you - Start with a parent or close friend that you have a good relationship with.

(2) Most untrained people simply do not know how to react to someone with depression. Sometimes people from earlier generations were conditioned to suppress depression as they considered it a weakness rather than a mental health issue and that’s how they react. And of course younger siblings just take their cues from their parents or older siblings reactions.

Rather than play to the entire house and expecting them to pick up on your feelings you really should have approached Mom or Dad and told them how you were feeling and that this was not a mood that was going to quickly pass. I understand that when you are feeling depressed that your thinking process is not at its best, but that’s what would have more likely gotten you help instead of being made fun of. The other approach would be to play it cool not showing your feelings and go to someone you trust for advice such as a counselor. Then they could advise you how to share this with your family. That’s not easy but it avoids being made fun of.

There are many kinds and varieties of feelings. Some are intense but pass quickly and some are longer lasting. Part of growing up is knowing how to deal with the feelings we have. Serious depression requires professional help and nothing else will touch it. At the same time, to the untrained and ignorant, depression in someone else makes them feel uncomfortable and they just want to not have to deal with it - Resulting in empty platitudes (like “cheer up”) or confusion at best, and outright hostility at worst.

I hope you are able to find help.