Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. When he slid his penis in, he felt my NuvaRing, and with the most excitement I've ever seen a man muster, said, "Oh my god! You have your clit pierced! I can't believe I actually get to have sex with a girl who has her clit pierced!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I think the real FML is that you guys apparently didn't do any foreplay
carleybeak 21
I think it might be time for him to learn some female anatomy...
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Comments (93)
lestatsbride 3
OP, first I would like to serve as a warning, 6 years ago I got pregnant while on nuvaring. also, at least he didn't say it felt like playing ring toss. you should educate him on the fact that's your birth control not a piercing and nowhere near where your clit actually is. clit piercing in general is stupid and has a long term effect on your sex life by making sensations dull after a certain amount of time making it harder for you to "get off" by exclusively clitoral simulation. I would not recommend that to anyone.
cuz803 46
Time for ****** education
aelarol 5
Seriously how did men get control. Well at least he found the ******.
lostinareverie 21
Damn, he needs to learn anatomy and your body asap, it'll be good for you two in the long run. Besides the clit isn't hard to find....
quarterbird 18
A. Did you guys have sex in a pitch black room with no foreplay? B. Does the local community college offer remedial anatomy classes? C. Nice name... Hozier's best tune.
oldsaltydawg 12
this was heartbreaking to read lol
Scootythedog 17
Is he ******* stupid?
demideity 13
He was a virgin beforehand, right?
RadiantAerynSun 2
He should have been much more acquainted with your clit before he entered you.
brutusthepug 6
i legit don't know what a NuvaRing is.