Intimacy: Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally...

By ewmomew - 12/09/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 9 379

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 186

You deserved it 4 177

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 198

You deserved it 56 602

Gatekeeping sex

By My eyes and ears, oh god, my eyes and ears - 20/08/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 593

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 303

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 685

You deserved it 12 887

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 426

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 242

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 596

You deserved it 7 221

Tinder surprise

By Oopsie - 27/05/2019 20:17

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 2 279

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 17 427

MetallicaRules19 4

Sunday 12 September 2010 12:16

"ILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD, if you dont tell me

weemcgreeger 1

Sunday 12 September 2010 12:13

no one tell him

Comments

NeonAgatha 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 13:29

lol xD

hottie2hottie 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 13:33

aquward... :p

Mauskau 35

Sunday 12 September 2010 14:20

awkward*

Guapito91 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 15:00

It sounds better aquward...

hottie2hottie 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 16:52

haha thanks :)

evillittleme 5

Sunday 12 September 2010 17:49

ROFL!!

zemo999 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 13:37

A nymph is someone that can't say no to sex....everyone know now? lol

like_its_ya_bday 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 15:20

lol damn I didn't know either but I looked at the comments goshes

paragod535 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 13:38

Ummm the next person that's asks for the love of god read the previous comments since your to dumb to use google.

ALindsey 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 16:28

Why would people ask for "the love of god" on FML?

mcsquanch 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 13:55

damn gurl call me! ;)

perdix 29

Sunday 12 September 2010 14:30

Your mom's admission was no accident. She was just trying to prevent you from making Daddy another notch in your bedpost. Unless you are the rare nympho who cares about quality as much as quantity, the fact that he possesses a penis means that incest is inevitable, regardless of whether it is tiny or he uses it poorly. Nice try, Mom.

cole86 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 15:28

^^ as usual, win

doctorr_fml 9

Sunday 12 September 2010 16:46

lol perdix. ur replies always make me laugh. do inciteful.

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 12 September 2010 14:38

There's a difference in being a nymphomaniac and just liking to F@$#. That diagnosis can easily destroy your life if not treated. I know someone that has that problem. (She's super beauiful.) Just unable to keep a relationship. The fear of her cheating on them is too great. And ofcourse something she says she's unable to control. So sad.

perdix 29

Sunday 12 September 2010 14:59

Phone number or it's fake. I just have to verify the truthfulness of some of the claims here. You know, for the protection of the readers of FML, of course.